On the Pickup Community

What does it mean to be "in pickup"? I am not part of this community and I don't study their materials. However, I talk to several guys who do. They sometimes make is seem that there is in pickup and out of pickup. And that in pickup = cool and out of pickup = uncool. This is not true. A good deal of the population can be considered cool and has never heard of pickup.

A 30 yo who's banged 2 girls can still be normal, social, and cool. And of the majority of the population who is not in pickup there are guys who are not only cool but good at banging girls. I'd be willing to bet that the best non-PUA "cool" guys bang better chicks than the best PUA guys do. Especially considering people only turn to help when they need to improve the situation, thus PUAs are often those who were struggling and their PU studies allow them to bang an insecure 25 year old virgin here and here. Thus also, I'm sure there are more socially awkward PUAs than there are socially awkward non-PUAs.

If you're awkward and have no interest in girls and you're not too good at talking to people and making friends (both male and female) and if reading PU material gives you more confidence--to talk people, haggle at a used car lot, not look down when ordering food, have more fun dancing at the bar, etc.--then more power to you. I've read a lot of self-help Tony Robbins type books that the general population thinks is cult-like and weird. Well, screw them. Because of books like that I'm happier than there and have more money and ideas than they do!

In short, participating in the PU community may help you get girls and might help you be happier (2 maybes there). I think some guys just use to to make friends or else just use it as an excuse to be lazy and not get girls. Whatever, waste your time I don't care. Again though, if doing (A) helps you reach your goal of (B) then you have my respect for trying to better your life.

Face vs Body vs Personality

Face vs Body vs Personality

If there were a girl with a perfect body, very cute face, and great personality, of course she'd be anyone's dream woman. We usually don't get all three perfect, so we pretty much walk the middle ground: we find someone who looks fairly cute or who has at least grown on us, has a decent body that turns us on a bit, and who we usually get along well with.

Here I'm going to assume there is no middle ground. The girl is either an 8 or a 4 in each category (note: I'm throwing intelligence in with personality). So, a cute face is a 8/10 and a non-cute face is a 4/10. A good personality is someone you get along with most of the time and the other is just kind of boring. And the nice body is nearly your perfect ideal and the out of shape body is someone who's not fat, but maybe with a muffin top who could stand to lose a few pounds. Here is how I feel about the different combinations:

Girl 1 - Nice Personality Only
We'd get along and have fun, but unless if we get drunk I wouldn't be attracted to her below average face and chunky body. She and I would be friends I might see at the bar or a party, but I'd never invite her out alone. Thus, romantically, she fails and wouldn't see the first date.

Girl 2 - Cute Face Only *
She'd be chunky and boring. I'd get her home, we wouldn't have fun, and we'd have unremarkable sex. I ditch her after the first or second date.

Girl 3 - Nice Body ***
She might be a bore but I'd get drunk and have a good time myself. I wouldn't look at her face but would be staring at her cleavage. I'd keep her around for a few months for the sex so I could see that wonderful body.

Girl 4 - Cute Face and Nice Body ****
For me, if she had my ideal body type and a cute face but was kind of a bitch, I wouldn't marry her, but I'd date her and have lots of wonderful sex! I might be bored talking to her, but I'd be looking forward to getting her naked later that night! Because of the great sex and parading her around, she'd probably last a few months.

Girl 5 - Cute Face and Nice Personality **
Here we have a girl with a cute face who I get along well with. I could take her to many restaurants and have good conversation while looking at her pretty face. We'd have sex but I wouldn't look forward to it as much if she had a little extra meat on her. I'd get rid of her eventually.

Girl 6 - Nice Personality and Nice Body *****
This girl would make me feel a bit different. I would want to talk to her more and do interesting things because she's a really cool girl. And she still has the body so we'd have a lot of even better sex than I had with the girl above because we get along so well. This one here might be a keeper.

And there you have it! Both girls with the nice body and either other trait get 4/5 or 5/5 stars. What's interesting is that nice body alone gets 3 stars wheres Face + Personality only gets 2. Therefore, I value body over either of the other two.

Something else interesting is that Personality + Body with her 5 stars beats Face + Body (4 stars) in the long run because we might have a relationship (of course for one-time sex only Face + Body would win). However, when it comes to Personality Only vs Face Only, Face wins with 1/5 stars because I might at least try to bang her whereas Personality gets 0 because I wouldn't even ask her out.


For several years I've liked thin girls but ones that maintain slight curves. "Voluptuous" women may turn me on, but they won't keep me coming back like a 24 inch (60 cm) waist will.

I've actually been with TINY girls with 21" (52 cm) waists that I could actually wrap my hands around. These girls were about 5' tall (152 cm) and weighed about 38 kg (84 lbs). Very sexy and desirable. But this isn't my ideal. I'd like them a bit taller with somewhat more shapely breasts and hips.

"Kakkoii Ne!" - Japanese Cockblockers

A friend in Japan just brought this up to me. I'm so glad I have other people to share stuff like this with! He was the only foreigner at the party and all the girls liked him. But, the Japanese guys all cockblocked him. How? All they did was call him かっこいい！

Seriously, who in the world outside of the Japanese-speaking expat player population in Japan would understand that to get a girl to NOT like a guy you have be the first one to say how handsome he is and keep saying it? Unheard of! The more you say it the more the girl is uninterested in talking to you and the cooler the guy who says it looks!

But I also did it back to them! I didn't do it to the guys who did it to me though because after you get a かっこいいな～！ thrown at you you're pretty much done and no girl within earshot will talk to you. But! When I saw a guy that might be a potential problem around a girl I'm already hitting on I learned to simply throw out the おおお～！かっこいいな！ and then his game was shut the hell dowwwwn! Learn the game, play, and win!

Why Girls Like Dumb Guys

Wow, I kind of noticed something else again today. This one was again prompted by something I saw today. Again this is something that has to do with all girls, Japanese included, but I might not have realized this had I not played the dating game in both places.

The realization
I moved into my current apartment not only because the price was right, it was clean, and I have a garage, but also because maintenance man seemed reliable. He looks about 30, average build, average looking, but he's, well, kind of slow. Not retarded, but lower IQ. Doesn't take a genius to paint and cut grass, but he seemed...manipulatable (?) and would agree to whatever I wanted done with the apartment before I moved in, show me other rooms on my demand and time frame, etc. Really passive guy. Anyway, I've been here a couple months and I ran into the cleaning girl who was vacuuming the stairs outside my door. She was about 24, tall, blond, extremely cute and from our conversation seemed really smart. I liked her so I found out a bit about her, such as she's going to grad school. But, I stopped when I found out that her BF is the maintenance guy. WTF!

Girls Choosing BFs of Lower Intellectual Capacity
And then it dawned on me that so many of the young, hot girls who AREN'T dumb, such as the ones in college who know where they're going in life (I think there are fewer of these in Japan but still) date complete douchebags. Even in Japan, when a girl is cute and smart, even if she's not in college often you'll hear stories about her B-kei or hostboy retard BF and you're like WTF? Here, the young cute girls love the douchebag wiggers, stoners, or bums.

Why?
And I think one reason this is is because since this type of girl generally knows what she wants, she has to find a guy who will go where she wants to go and do what she wants to do. Mr. 84 IQ isn't going to argue with her about important things in her life--such as moving to a new city with her for school or work--he's just going to follow along, like a puppy dog. And reason 2, I think, is that it's a challenge for a girl to help these guys along. Maybe it's a nurturing motherly instinct to help change these bozos and retards.

The Opposite Type
Of course whatever we say can't sum up the world, because there will always be the more passive girls who either a) can't think for themselves where they want to go on a date so always have the guy choose, b) are so dumb that all guys are above her intellectually, c) aren't attractive so don't have many choices so have to settle for whatever guy they find. In the case of c) I see many great guys who are with unattractive girls because the girls who know what they want don't want a guy who also knows what he wants. Here, the fatties might be smart, but since they have to take what they can get they may be with a more controlling, confident man (like most of us); although they might actually want to be the one in charge. In Japan, many women are extremely passive to begin with, never think, and take on the what I'm calling the lower IQ roll by default.

Girls' Uneasiness After Sex

Time of Unease
I'm referring to the time period after you have sex with a girl, whether that's the first day you met her, date 1, date 3, or date 6. Or, if you're too cool to go on dates--like this 18 yo douchebag Dave who enlightened me about women and said "I don't go on dates"--"meeting 1," "meeting 3," etc. This awkward period will end after you've dated (or "hung out with") her 3 or 4 more times. By this time you two are either a) BF and GF, b) sex friends, c) back to being regular acquaintances, or d) (and I'm positive this one occurs most often) haven't had 3-4 more dates and are no longer speaking to each other.

What Happens in the Time of Unease?

• First off all, for me, getting that girl to see me again has always been virtually as hard as getting a new girl to date me in the first place. I'm not going to let this post wander down this path though because although refusing to see me again is definitely a sign of unease, we've already posted and theorized a lot about this.
• Second, when I do get that next date after the first time we've had sex, I realized that the girl is actually LESS likely to come to my house than a new girl. Wow!! I feel they're thinking that I'm trying to use them only for sex (which usually isn't the case) and not going to my house would almost definitely prevent that.
• Third, when they do come to my house again and get into the same bed in which we've already had sex, they're LESS likely to put out than if they were a brand-new girl! Is this not an amazingly surprising statistic?!!

(Note, during this time of unease, I usually act normally and proceed as if she and I are going be seeing each other well into the future. I don't rush to bang her, but I do hope she stays over so I can bang her again after we're done hanging out.)

Why?
One thing I'm thinking is that the girls who DON'T see me again after sex are the ones who only wanted sex once (I used add "because I'm a gaijin" here but white girls are exactly the same!), thus they put out and never saw me again whereas the ones who do see me again are those looking for a relationship that includes more than sex.

Now, this is pretty technical and would take a lot of looking at photos to refresh my memory, but what this boils down to is my theory that girls who give LMR are those more likely to see you again because those are the ones who want a relationship, and in some twisted fashion they think that not putting out will make that happen or, and this is more likely, they think that not putting out will weed out the guys just looking for a piece of ass.

And I think we could test this theory by going through our old photos/memories and trying to remember if the
girls who who gave LMR were those who more often saw us again. Any correlation here would equate to us learning a lot!

Right?

NuBreed, Why Do You Succeed with Women?

A friend posted this question online and I thought about it and thought I'd post my answer here (I'll probably post something similar there, too).

Why I Succeed with Women

Inconsistency

I succeed when I maintain a level of inconsistency, whether consciously or unconsciously. If I mail/call the girl back when she wants me to, I don't have much luck. If I simply ignore her a third of the time--whether purposely or I accidentally--I find that keeps her wanting to see me. A couple months ago I simply forgot to mail the girl back for a whole month. When I finally remembered she seemed keener after a month. Before I learned this I was still able to get girls, but with it I get average girls much more efficiently and can get hot girls systematically instead of just being lucky.

Conversation

In conversation I never dive deeply into a topic she doesn't know or care about. That keeps me away from nerd status. If there is something I'm really into--used to be nuts over cameras--I would clearly state that I'm a nerd about it but won't go into boring detail. For other topics I try to keep the conversation surface level because for the most part no one really cares about your stories except you. I keep them short and elaborate when someone shows interest. At least a mention of a previous lover is always helpful. I never show that I've had sex with a lot of girls though. I usually say 20 but I'll say less if the girl hasn't had much experience and more if she's a big slut.*

What Hasn't Helped

Things that haven't helped are clothing and accessories. Never made a lick of difference except if what I was wearing made me uncomfortable. White T-shirt and flip-flops just as good as something nice. How long to wait to mail after getting a number or how long to wait to reply never mattered either as long as it was 33% inconsistent. Waiting for sex proved to be anti-progressive as over half of my first dates were last dates. "Kino" (touching girls on dates) didn't matter at all. Grabbing her hand to pull her across the street when the light turned green and letting go 2 seconds later was more than enough to let her know I'm not scared to touch her. Usually didn't even do that though.


* Don't know why I want to tell this story here but I was with two girls who said they'd been with 200+ guys. Odd that although I got to third base with both, neither let me get to homeplate. Kind of showed me that being a huge slut doesn't mean you'll easily bang a gaijin! If you search the site you'll probably find me saying, "sluts are harder to get." Why? Because sluts are usually fairly cute and cute girls are harder to get! Sluts have banged a lot of Japanese guys. This doesn't mean they want to bang milker-loving gaijin. Awesome revelation if you ask me but that's just me and I'm amused by small stuff!

Age Range for Possible Relationships

Okay guys, here we go. This is a big one for me! Ever notice how when you were 18-23 a lot of girls in the same age group weren't interested in you, but when they turned 26 or so they were suddenly keen? The charts below show the following somewhat shocking truths and more:

• Men's prime lasts at least 15 years
• High status men can be with women half their age
• Women in their prime can choose to date only the best men
• Beautiful women can get rich and handsome men of any age

Nearly two years ago I wrote an article entitled Can We Get 20 yo Girls at Age 35-40?. At that time it was important to me because I was worried that I wouldn't be able to get girls anymore if I were to leave Japan at 30 and return at 35. In this 2008 article I posted the following chart:


And now, two years later, I've proved to myself that getting 20 year old girls at age 30 not only possible, but perhaps even easier than when I was in my mid-20s! Getting girls 26 and over has become extremely simple, even to the point of ridiculousness. Due what I've learned I'm no longer worried about aging and how it will affect the girls I can get.

In the past couple years I've seen a lot of guys younger than me get married. I've seen old friends take what I would call less-than-adequate wives. I've talked to both guys and girls who around 25 who feel it's crunch time to find a spouse. Most recently, I've read the 500 page Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life by Gail Sheehy. It discusses both women and men feeling the need to hurry, women in their late 30s--married or single--feeling the need to utilize what's left of their bodies to have sex with random men, men having mid-life crises and wanting younger women, and more.

In my own life, instead of blindly marrying a less-than-ideal girl before I'm 35, I did my research and found that I should be in no hurry to find a wife. Why? Because when I'm 45 I can still marry a 27 year old and have kids. This is highly possible for a man in good shape with ample money. As far as dating only goes--and possibly marriage--if the man is rich or extremely handsome he could go even younger. With this, I present this chart of what age girls you can reasonably expect to date if you keep yourself up and give it a little effort. It's based not only on what I've read during my research over the past two years, but also what I've seen and even experienced myself.


The part of most interest to me is the black line along the bottom showing how men retain their value to younger women. Of course a broke jerk can't get the hottest young girls, but he can still date the younger average ones. I have plans to be in shape, have money, and maintain a youthful attitude and joy towards life when I'm 40, so I will still be able to dip into the pool of girls in their early 20s.

I hope this chart will help you steer clear of hasty decisions hampering fun, travel, learning, and adventure in your life. Finally, just for fun, let's look at the women's chart. Luckily they like older men because, as you can see, they don't really have much of a choice!


I hope this last chart has helped a bit in clearing up why the 18-24 year old girls treat men like crap--they have plenty of choices for BFs. And you can also see why as women age they are more and more willing to date and have sex with men who aren't their exact ideal. Thirty-five year old women can date men their age, but the highly desirable 35 year old men are either already taken...or are dating 23 year olds!

Tan-Blond Gyaru vs Regular J-Girls

We like tan-blond gyaru because they are the most aesthetically pleasing and sexually inviting to some of us. A lot of guys want to try these tan-blond gyaru, but since there are so few of them they are in high demand and their value increases due to rarity. Therefore they're hard to get. If they were prevalant and easy I just might have had my fill after sex with a few. In fact, I wish I didn't like them. But I do.

Of course without the makeup and flamboyancy they wouldn't be as interesting. In fact, the tan-blond gyaru group as a whole maintains only a slight advantage in Raw Beauty over many other groups of Japanese girls. The o-ne-kei and hostess groups would also fit this description because, in their teens, the way cute or sexy girls are treated by men seems to push them dress in a way that is more popular with guys. If this is hard to understand, why not look at it like a fetish for pregnant girls? Some guys like them. They are very hard to get too, mainly because they're only visibly pregnant for 6 months, but also because they've very likely to have a man they love. An infatuation with any group is no different that infatuation of that with another.

For me I'm trying to switch the infatuation over to incredibly hot European chicks because that makes the most sense; plus I like them nearly as much. Not to take anything away from Japanese, preggos, or tan-blond gyaru, but I don't want to regret not sleeping with a lot of these girls while I have the chance. I feel that to continue to strive toward the two tan-blond gyaru per month goal would be waste of time which could be spent on pursuits with greater personal benefits.

However, no one on earth can say I didn't "do" Japan to the fullest extent to which it is capable of being done. To do it deeper would bring the satisfaction of more sex with tan-blond gyarus; a satisfaction with shorter lasting benefits than those of other pursuits. For example, although getting naked with a tan-blond gyaru is still more intriguing to me than the same with a girl of any other group, I've been with a lot more of them than I have with hot white girls, so the benefit of the latter is higher. Plus this pursuit will take me to interesting lands to which I haven't traveled. As far as long-term relationships go, remaining in Japan I could pick any girl on the street and predict her personality. She'd take years to be able to fully enter English conversations. Alternatively, traveling to new places I may be wowed by personalities and find someone who fits with me better than any Japanese ever could.

In summary, I think I've explained both sides of the tan-blond gyaru vs regular J-girl argument. 1) My explanation of white girls shows that while there can be more beneficial pursuits, tan-blond gyaru are rare, hard-to-get, and are in high demand by many guys. Therefore, if you want to complete the challenge you have to make that stop, put in the effort, and sleep with a few before moving on. 2) On the other hand, it's also true that the personalities and Raw Beauty of this sub-group of girls isn't much higher than that of other girls--there are both fat as well as incredibly sexy gyarus. And besides the sex benefits, although some might have great personalities, the way they dress themselves has little effect on us other than sexually.

To conclude, to say these girls are ugly and undesirable is blinding yourself to a lot of truths. To degrade guys going for these girls says more about yourself than the guys taking action. Likewise, since pretty much any thin 18 year old can be a tan-blond gyaru if she so desires, to spend more than a few years chasing a style is wasting part of a precious life and effort that could be better spent on other pursuits.

The Middle Opener

Many guys ask me, "So what do you open with?" And I'm like, "Kind sir, do you mean, what do I say when I first start hitting on a girl?" (Now that we're on the same page) I tell them 'Dude, I don't know, I just say something.' But this isn't enough for many guys and they want to have something pre-planned or else they will lack confidence and not even talk to the girl. Many want a line that has been tried by pick up gurus and when they find these lines they use them to death! (not recommended).

Truthfully, if I think about what I'm going to say I'll lack the confidence to go talk to them too! But I usually don't think about it, and that's the key. I only think about how hot they are and by the time I'm next to them I just spit something out. Sometimes it's totally weird but usually it's quite normal. Anyway, here a few types of opening lines. In order of nuts that it takes to perform them: Lame, Middle, Semi-Direct, Direct:

Lame Opener - this is when you ask the time, where the station is, or what color teddy bear to buy for your sister. I call it lame because it's deceiving: you use a girl's goodwill to lure her into conversation, then you attempt the conversion from the "Where's the station?" situation to a topic that will get you in her pants. This is the easiest way to start a conversation. Its opposite is the Direct Opener.

Direct Opener - with this, the girl can see that you're interested in talking to her simply by what you say or how you approach her. If you come from behind and ask her name or say, "Hi, what are you doing right now?" then it's pretty obvious and straightforward that you're hitting on her because you think she's cute. There are definitely times--when you're short on time, for example--when this and only this attempt will work. You can even go a step further and start with, "Hi, want to go on a date?," or "What's your number?" (Not recommended, though. Guess I know this?)

Semi-Direct Opener - Instead of saying something blatant, such as with the direct opener, you comment on something in the environment. If you're on the train platform you could say, "The train is late." If you're walking outside you could say, "Your keychain is cool, can I have it?" (I've actually gotten a lot of trinkets and bracelets this way, even when they don't give me their numbers!) It's obvious you're into her, but at least you're starting a conversation to which she can quickly add if she's interested. Note that if the girl is walking away from you and you're coming from behind your only choice would be Direct or Semi-Direct. Doesn't work, you say? My ass it doesn't! Just not as frequently.

Conversational Opener - I thought of this here in America because it's barely different than what chatty old guys say to me. I've been doing it for years in Japan, but never really saw how I could categorize it before. If I'm shopping or standing in the checkout line some old guy might start talking to me about the weather, the local sports team, or Obama's proposed medical reform bill. I call this the Conversational Opener, because you're really just trying to talk to anyone who will listen. And if that person who will listen is a hot girl who likes you then you're in luck!

Middle Opener - The middle opener, then, is when you're already in the vicinity of the girl so you can say what you want to her (think old man in the checkout). Instead of blabbing about the weather, though, you make a comment that subtly shows interest after she thinks back of it, but to anyone standing near it's not a blatant come-on. An example in the check out line at Starbucks would be, "Whacha gettin'?" (If you saw her coffee and said, "I like mocca" then it would be semi-direct, because you've commented on the object, whereas you asking her a question shows you're interested in her choice, not the object itself, which shows more interest in her.) It's so good because, "Whacha readin'?" or "Whacha eatin'" just isn't the same, because you're showing interest in something already present (food, books, etc). But if you say, "Where ya goin'?" you're showing interest in her, through interest any place she may be going. It's so much easier than other ways of starting a conversation and there's no awkwardness trying to convert the conversation from "Do you have the time?" to "So, where ya goin'?"

And I can't think of any good conclusive paragraph to put here, so I'll just wish you good luck!