K-close (Kiss-Close) Advice

This article will likely piss you off. If you even try to read past the bold text, you're likely just not going to get it. This is designed to piss you off and make you stop worrying about kissing girls when the real goal is banging a few and eventually making the best ones your GF. I'm tired of seeing guys shoot themselves in the foot with this kissy-face crap. Stop the damn kissing already! Are you still going to read on? You'll hate me afterwards, I'm sure. If that's okay with you, go ahead. It's okay with me. At least I'll know that you'll stop being a baby and whining about how to kiss, how not to kiss, when to kiss, blah blah blah

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K-close, in the pickup (PU) community--the mainly online community of men who are not naturally good picking up women who come together to discuss how to pickup hot women--has come to replace the word "kissing." Stupid, I know, and just for the record, I've never "k-closed" a girl. But I've kissed hundreds!

A lot of guys ask advice about how to kiss a girl and why after they kiss a girl she ends up "flaking"--the PU community term for ditching you--and never talking to you again. This is the problem. Are you serious? you may be asking, and I know, it's pretty straightforward why guys are failing to get kisses and why, if they do get kisses, they are failing to get the girls in the sack.

1. She Wouldn't Kiss Me

Are we going to overanalyze this and say, "she's playing hard to get..." or any of that BS? No, we're not. She didn't kiss you because she doesn't like you! Is that not the answer over half of the time? Duh. The other "duh" moments are when you try to kiss her when there are people around, when it's too soon for her, or when it's the first date and she doesn't want to kiss on the first date, which may mean she just doesn't like you yet. Here's a un-over analysis for all situations:

If you go for a kiss, whether you succeed or fail in the kiss, overall, YOU FAIL!

There, problem solved. Remember that and move on to the next question....

No, you want an explanation even though you have an answer? Okay: Succeeding in a kiss isn't going to make her like you more. At most, all it's going to show you is that she likes you enough to kiss you. Well, what does that tell you, that she'll have sex with you? No! It doesn't mean she'll have sex with you nor does it mean she'll even see you again. A kiss means nothing!

And what if you fail in getting the kiss. Does that mean she hates you? Does it mean that she doesn't like you? Does it mean she won't see you again? No, no, and no! The information a failed kiss attempt gives you is just as useless as a successful kiss attempt. However, let's see how a non kiss attempt rules all:

2. She Kissed Me But Won't See Me Again

Do you really need to read this far? You already know that a kiss means nothing. You just finished reading that. So, you should have inferred that if she kisses you, she thinks you like her and she thinks you want to kiss and probably have sex with her. What if she did kiss you but just did it to be polite? Uhhh...hadn't thought of that one, have you? So, in this case, the kiss is a guarantee that she won't see you again! If she sees you again after kissing you she might as well show up with a banner across her chest stating "Little Miss Slut I Kissed You Last Time and Will Suck You Off This Time."

The kiss is a guarantee that she won't see you again!

So c'mon, guys. Go kiss your mother if you want to kiss someone. Save the kisses for when you get the girl in the sack, then you can start making out. If you kiss before then, only the ones who like you will come back. If you do it my way, you'll nail the ones who like you as well as half of the ones who don't like you because the kiss will be enough to turn them on.

Some 2007 quotes which, if you opened this article, you obviously need to read:

"I want to emphasize that not getting a kiss doesn't mean you can't get sex. If you're on the roof, by the river, in your room, anywhere, if she's not down to kiss maybe you could try to skip that step. Not kissing is obviously a bad sign, but this is an obstacle that can sometimes be overcome by ignoring it."

"Kiss: it doesn't mean much. I wouldn't even do it unless if it were right at the pickup (for no other reason than to see if they'll let me). In fact, over the past few years I don't think I've ever kissed a girl on a date before getting her to the sex location. The way I see it: why risk scaring her away with no foreseeable benefit? I agree with (name omitted) and don't think of a kiss as a down payment on her seeing you again."

"But is the kiss your goal, or is sex your goal? You don't have to kiss in public before you go to your house or to the love hotel. You can skip that step sometimes. Why follow two steps when you only need one? I know a lot of guys would probably give reasons why this wouldn't work, but I kiss very few girls before we arrive in the sex location. "

"Umm, why do you have to kiss her anyway? What's the use? It's not necessarily going to make her horny enough to come to your house and bang you, right? No, if she's not interested--like she wasn't--it'll have the opposite effect: she won't want to go to your house because she'll feel like a slut going knowing that it's likely that more kissing will happen."

"Anyway, I just wanted to say that I've (expletive)ed several girls who would not let me kiss them. Kissing is for BFs, but (expletive)ing is okay because it's fun and feels good. Go figure. But don't let not getting a "K-close" stop you from having sex!"

More on Kissing (Part II)

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Pissed off yet? Good, go whine about it. Since you're not kissing girls and I've kissed many, I must just be lucky or extremely good-looking, right? If you believe that you'll never succeed at anything. For others, if you've read this far I hope you at least learned something. Do you now understand that kissing is a waste of time until you're in your room? If not, ignore everything I said and go around shooting yourself in the foot like you've been doing all along.