Limited Mail Theory (incl response time & mail grouping)

Before

During my six years in Japan, I spent a lot of time sending cell phone mail (texts) to girls. I averaged 50 per day. Luckily I had the cell phone plan keeping my cell phone bill under $100, but it was occasionally tiring. In 2003 my phone had what I call "true BCC", by that I mean BCC like on your Hotmail: the person who is BCCed doesn't know it. Well, in 2004 Japanese cell phones lost this function and now if you BCC anyone it says "BCC" in the subject line. The Japanese really screwed up the meaning of Blind Carbon Copy, huh?

Today

Now I've matured, my Japanese is better, and I've learned a lot more about girls since 2003. If we were to compare 2004 and 2007, I think I picked up more girls in 2004, but out of each 10 I picked up, as many as four might not write back at all. I might only date 1-2 of those 10. In 2007, though, I would get replies from about 90%. That has nothing to do with the topic at hand here, but that just shows that I was better at picking them up.

And I am now better at mailing them too. I used to mail a girl as often as she'd reply, and believe it worked and I got laid several times a month, but, if I had put in the same amount of hunting time I did then, knowing what I know now about mailing, I would have been more successful. In short, mailing less is better. Or, you get more with less!

The Theory

You only get a certain number of mails with each girl before she ignores you, so you have to stretch those mails out over time, and get her to meet you before your mailing time runs out.

Now, the hotter the girl is the less chance she has to like you. This rating of hotness, as used by me, as explained in other posts, doesn't vary per rater, rather, it's objective and is based on how popular a girl is amongst men in general. So, the hotter she is the more guys she has and the less keen she'll be on you. And, the less keen on you the girl is, the fewer mails you have with her. It's not a direct relation, but can most of the time you can say, "the hotter she is the less time you have." On the opposite end, ugly girls might mail you forever.*

Phone Book Groups

Back to 2003. I would get a girl who would be relatively hot, say a 7 or 8, and I'd use up all of my mails to her within the first day or two, then she'd flake. When I first got girls I used to keep them in Group 0 in my phone, before putting them into another group of prospects. Back then, I would keep them in Group 0 for quite a while because they would flake so quickly. Why? For that answer, read my theory.

These days, I still have Group 0. But now, I usually only wait to get two mails from her before I move her to her corresponding Prospects group (I categorize prospects based on their looks or else how much I desire them, but that isn't important here). After she goes to a Prospects group, I will leave here there for however long it takes me to feel like emailing her. I can move them quicker now because I'm not going to blow it with any by wasting my mailing limit too quickly.

How Often Should I Email Girls?

Here we're getting into something that's also not the focus of this post, but I'll add a bit. Do you mirror her response times? Do you wait to reply to her longer than she waits to reply to you? I have the answers to all of these questions, and now I know the exact time when to reply to a girl for the maximum response ratio, but it's very hard to explain. I could explain it in a few minutes in spoken words, because I'd be able to answer questions regarding all situations, but here, I can only explain the basics.

The Five Steps of When to Reply

First of all, you must know that Japanese girls do not think about this. They reply when they can. You're after them, and if they're hot, they have a lot of guys after them. Sometimes, if the reply is short and unthoughtful, they are just replying because they feel they have to. Don't over analyze this. Girls don't and it will only get you fewer responses.

Second, you have to be patient. You can't predict what she's doing at a certain time, and if you mail her at that time, you might not get a reply. So, you can't sit there for 24 hours wondering when she's going to reply. Maybe she's busy? Maybe she forgot? Maybe she doesn't care about you? Do you want to know the truth about which one it is? I don't, because it don't care! Read the theory. She's seen your mail. She knows you mailed. If you mail again too soon you're needy and bored. You don't want that. So, you mail your girlfriend, play tennis, watch a movie, and basically, continue your life as if she weren't a part of it. When you do that, she'll mail. If she doesn't, you don't care because she isn't a part of your life anyway, right? And, in a few days without a reply, simply shoot her another mail. And you should never refer to the last mail you sent!

Third, you should use common sense. Don't go overboard trying to guess what she's doing, but if you know she has to work at 9 am then sending her a mail at 7:30 when she's doing her makeup isn't a good time. Or don't mail when she's sleeping as she won't be able to reply immediately. *2 Are you going to try to time the mail to arrive when she's bored riding the train? I guess that would be good, but still, don't go out of your way trying to send at the perfect time.

Forth in our list: you have to be natural. By this I mean that you should occasionally reply within minutes to her mail, and if she replies, and you have time to, do it again! You'd probably not want to shoot off ten mails in a row, but 4-5 in a row once or twice shouldn't hurt anything. And be natural also means that you send of something you write now. I've made templates in the past and saved them, but I've found that for each girl you have to modify the template and it ends up taking longer and being less natural than if you just typed it up right there. Also, I've found that anything witty I've ever done or said in the past is something I can do naturally in the future. It's not as if I have to write it down and lose my clever mailing ability or whatever. It's will naturally come to you when you need it.

Finally, don't care. If you care that means that this girl really means something to you. Of course she does or you wouldn't be mailing her; but you have to have other things going on so that your happiness doesn't rest on getting a reply from this girl. That's why I always had two girlfriends along with some other sex friends. If my GF, the one I really like who I want to write me back, doesn't reply, then I can mail some other girls and get what I need from them. I'm backing up this post as I write it now. You should backup anything that's important to you, even girls. *3

Reply Folder

This is revolutionary. Better yet, evolutionary. My phone has evolved over the years, and so have the folders I sort mails into. I used to have folders for this and folders for that, but now, I have very few. I'll list what you need here. If you make these folders you've surpassed a lot of trouble and have reached the point where I am today, a place that took me years to get to. All this work, and I end up with just a few simple folders:

• Guys. My girl and guy friends' mails and all "other" mails go in this folder
• Girls. Mails from girls who I've had sex with or am trying to have sex with
• GF #1. Folder for GF #1. You can't mix her with other girls as you might send her a mail you meant to send to some other girl who means nothing to you. A GF is not related to this lifestyle, so keep her separate. Luckily, you can use this lifestyle to get the best GF, though, and to keep from bothering her so much!
  
• GF#2. If applicable. I wouldn't get over 2-3 GFs. It's tough. Make the other ones "sex friends" who aren't worrying about your whereabouts who probably suspect you have other girls and know you're not 100% theirs (them knowing that might make them like you more and try to change you, by the way, but that's a topic for elsewhere).
  
• Info. This is a folder I found necessary. When you get a mail with directions or someone's phone number who you will need once then delete, chuck the mail here, and lock it so it doesn't auto-delete. Mine only has a few mails in it (new phone), but one is how to find the love hotel in a certain area, an area I've never been to, but plan to go sometime soon.
• Reply. This is what I would say is evolutionary. This eliminates the need to think about when you reply to girls! You just go through this folder when you have time to mail, then you reply if you think it's a common sense time to do so. If not, be patient and mail later! Remember, waiting a long time to reply is usually not a bad thing!

* * *

Footnotes

* Theory doesn't hold for young, inexperienced girls who will mail you a dozen times a day for weeks and still never meet you. However, "inexperienced" can be read as "not popular" and therefore "not cute," right? If she were cute she'd have guys lining up to date her. If YOU think she's cute, fine, that's the perfect situation, but if she doesn't have guys lining up to date her then she's not cute, and not rated any higher than 6 or so.

*2 I always mail girls when they're sleeping. Why? Because I don't care, and not caring overtakes all other rules. I have time to mail them when they're sleeping, so that's when I do it. By my mailing schedule they assume that I'm busy all other times, so, they just mail me when they have a chance to.

*3 If you're a guy with a single girlfriend and don't want to cheat on her with other girls, don't get me wrong, I don't see anything wrong with that at all. That will be me someday too. In fact, I wish it were me now. It'd be so much easier! This type of guy probably isn't reading this now, but if you are, I mean no offense. For the record, it'd take me 8-12 months to trust a Japanese girl to not just suddenly stop mailing you. All girls I've been with that long I am still friends with today. I've had several relationships halt suddenly after 4 months and the girls just disappeared.