Maturity Spikes: Japan vs USA

The new phrase today is "maturity spikes." I just Googled it and found I'm the originator! Certain investment instruments in the financial sector have used the term, but here the definition is as follows:

Maturity Spike - An approximate age when an individual is expected to change his or her actions which are viewed by society to be more mature. The "overnight" duration is actually a steady climb in maturity over the period of approximately 1-2 years.

I've experienced different times of female maturity spikes over the years. First of all, many pubescent girls (ages 11-12 or so) are self-conscious and refuse talk to anyone except their parents and friends. This is not my observation, rather, a known fact found in many studies and books by authors with many more credentials than me. These findings hold in many countries.

The Teen and College Years

When they reach approximately age 14 Japanese girls will have no more maturity spikes for the next 8-10 years. They will simply mature at a steady pace.

When I first went to Japan I noted how teenage Japanese girls were much more mature than American girls. So while Japanese girls are slowly and steadily maturing over the 14-24 age range, I was under the impression that all American girls hit a maturity spike sometime during the college years.

However, since coming back to Japan I realized that is not necessarily the case for all girls, just for the girls I met during my college years. Since I'm no longer a college student, I've been exposed to a different kind of girl. This is baffling because about half of the college age girls I've dated are actually in college. Now could it be that the girls who are more studious are in school in the daytime and stay in on weekends, thus I'm not meeting them? And that the less studious ones just go to class and go home, thus I never met them was I was in college? Or that only the "party girls" are the ones willing to date a guy 10 years older than them?

Or could times have changed? I've noticed that American girls swear a lot more than they used to 10 years ago. Plus nearly ever girl I meet, college age or not, is taking some type of drugs for stress or depression. Could this be attributed to the type of girls I'm meeting? Here's a fact:

There are MANY more drug commercials on TV than there were 10 years ago.

Here's another:

People, especially girls, are eating a lot more unhealthily.

Could this contributed to bitchy attitudes and mental stress? One more:

Americans on average weigh more than they did 10 years ago, 10 years ago they weighed more than they did 20 years ago, and so on.

Could it be that with all these negative factors girls are just getting dumber overall and when I was in college I missed the 20% or so who were dumb and these days 80% or dumb so I can't miss them anymore?

So it's either that I'm not meeting the same type of girls as I was 10 years ago; or that girls are dumber, fatter, bitchier, and sluttier.

Conclusion

Japanese girls aged 14-24 are maturing steadily and are much more mature than their American "party girls counterparts. Some are studious and some slowly discover alcohol and boys. This choice really doesn't affect their maturity.

Studious American girls reach a maturity spike sometime around age 19 and blow past their Japanese counterparts in terms of maturity.

However, many college age American party girls reach what we might call an anti-maturity spike when they discover alcohol and guys. They bring the dating drama, jump from guy to guy every week, get tons of tattoos, and get drunk and stupid every weekend.

The Ultimate Maturity Spike: Ages 23-26

Now we can take the party girls, the studious "good girls," the Japanese, and the Americans and group them together.

The cute, sexy, and slutty girls from either country will stop being drunk sluts sometime between the ages of 23-26. They might find a job upon finishing college. They will most likely want their next relationship to be a long one.

A huge difference, though, is that Japanese girls definitely stop dressing the same as they used to when they were younger. This is huge for many guys because in Japan I would never be interested in a woman (notice I didn't say "girl") over 25 simply because they no longer dress sexy but dress like an old lady. American girls in their late 20s who have stayed in shape, however, are virtually indistinguishable from girls in their early 20s. In Japan the visible difference is night and day.

In America, however, I wouldn't be interested in a girl who's under 25. Remember how there seems to be a dwindling number of respectable college age girls? Well, the large majority who are basically intolerable in conversation during the college years hit this ultimate maturity spike and get a lot smarter. Japanese girls, on the other hand, may be 22 year old sluts but they're just as capable of having an interesting conversation as a 27 year old is. And, since most Americans seem to be party girls, it makes sense that a 22 year old Japanese is more interesting to talk to than a 22 year old American girl, who is likely intolerable.

Also, another biggie: both American and Japanese girls spike in terms of wanting a relationship as opposed to one-night stands. However, American girls suddenly become a lot smarter and and cooler to talk to. They definitely surpass the Japanese in overall intelligence; and whether you'd prefer to talk to an American or Japanese 29 year old is anyone's preference.

The Ultimate Conclusion

In conclusion, if it's sex with many women that you want the place to be is Japan. Not only are the college ones more mature, but they're just as slutty and not even close to Americans in terms of overweight percentage. But, if it's a long-term, meaningful relationship you want look for a pretty 28 year old American who managed to steer clear of the food and drug problems.

Exciting Revelation that Insecure Girls Do Anything for Guys' Approval

Some profiling and stereotyping here. And it's not about Japanese girls, so if that's what you're looking for you might want to skip this one. Very interesting though!

I've been noticing how insecure girls are. This quote of mine from a while ago gives you a picture of what I'm talking about:

A friend and I were at Subway not too long ago sitting by the window. A car pulled in...It was an above average girl, alone. Within seconds, guess what she did? Yep, pulled out her phone and called her friend. Proof of insecurity. She kept looking over her shoulder on the street to see if her friend had shown up yet. She was most likely on the phone with the friend. It was NUTS! She kept looking left and right and her facial expressions were extreme! I know for a fact that she felt so insecure being there alone because she saw two guys staring out at her and you know what she did? Two minutes later she drove off. She couldn't f*cking stand it. CrAzInEsS!

Don't Leave Me Alone

* Last week I was in the food court on lunch break and saw a cute girl sitting by herself. I ordered my food and walked by her and made eye contact. I didn't think there was a BF around so I turned back and was going to try to sit with her. Of course, she was on the phone. You see, it was like, noon, so there were very few young people in there. She was very content sitting there eating alone with the oldies. Until I, a young guy, noticed her, that is! After she saw that I saw her she must have thought: Omg, this guy saw me. I'm alone! OMG, he must think I have no friends. I better hurry and get on the phone and pretend my friend's just late!

Does this really go through their heads? I think it does. I'm in the food court a lot since it's by work. A few days later I was in there with my friend telling him this story. We noticed that only girls who feel they're above average behave like this. If you're a fatty you obviously don't give a damn what people think about you. Thus, can you guess? Yep, they have no problem sitting alone. Me? The old guy? The Chinese guy? The middle aged lady? Yep, we all could care less what others think about us (or we know that no one really cares about other people they see). But these girls do. And, actually, the douchebag backwards hat guys do as well. They also can't be alone or it will challenge their self-image of being cool.

* Same day, maybe, I noted to my friend that a cute girl came in the door from the parking lot. But she didn't walk by us. Then 30 seconds later I saw she walked out. I was like, "Hmm, she went back outside." My friend, "She probably saw that the people she was supposed to meet are here yet and she's to scared sit down and wait alone." Haha giggle giggle, we did. Sad but he was probably right. She probably went and sat in her car until her friend showed up. (It's not that girls want to be others because of nanpa. The only person who actually does that is me [black guys are actually fearless nanpa masters but they only do black girls].)

So, that's just some evidence that people really do care a whole lot what total strangers think. It's soooooo fucking clear and obvious now. Of course the fat girl with makeup will be alone: she doesn't care what others think or else she'd be wearing makeup and on a diet! Girls who try to be hot are self-conscious. It should now make total sense when I say, "Tan blonds in Japan what to bang you but they don't want to be seen being picked up by a gaijin." These girls are the girls who care the most what others think. You might be able to take this even further. If you want to know how cool someone is simply look at his/her clothes. If they don't give a damn they might be pretty cool?!!

We'll Do Things to Make Guys Like Us

Next up, I've seen a few trends over the past decade with American girls here. When I was in college and going to the bars girls did not say f*ck, sh*t, or b*tch very often. Now they say f*ck every other word, drunk or sober! I was thinking that maybe it's a different kind of girl, but that doesn't fit. College or not, they cuss like sailors! Is it because guys swear a lot? Read on. Look at the #1 free dating website and every third girl has hobbies of mud-bogging, hunting, fishing, and riding her own motorcycle. WTF? I've never met a girl who likes to do all this stuff, yet on there, they all do? Is this just to attract guys to them? Hey, I'm a girl. I'm insecure. I'm going to buy a motorcycle so that guys think I'm cool. This is getting crazy! It gets worse. In 1999 girls at the bar were not slamming shots and beer. They were not wasted and driving drunk. They weren't tatooed from head to toe. Only guys were. Now, every chick and her sister has tattoos all over and think of nothing but going to the bar. I swear it wasn't like this 15 years ago.

But it gets even worse. And this seems like proof that we can all relate to. In 2005 sometime Style and Mystery became popular. Mystery isn't my favorite, but he did have a unique goal that I respected: to get a bisexual GF. I mean, all guys want threesomes, but no one really actually had a goal of getting a bi-GF. Mystery was the first. Then, I don't know if every other guy copied him or if Mystery just showed guys that it's possible, but after a year or so it seemed like every where you go you'd find a guy who's goal (not dream, goal) was to find a bisexual GF. In my life now I don't meet a tenth of the girls I used to meet when I was in college and going to bars. But guess what, ladies and gentlemen? Dun dada dunnnn....yes, that's right, folks, I don't even ask (or care) and a lot of the girls I meet offer me the info that they're bisexual! OMFG! This is craziness! They were not bi before. Perhaps they were but so many guys now saying that they want bi girls brings these girls...out of the closet, so to speak? I don't know, but I guarantee that if there had been no Mystery these girls would not be ranting and raving about their bisexuality. Nuts nuts nuts!

More on Kissing (Part 2)

Please read the important K-Close article. That is Part 1 of this post.

Some girls are willing to have sex on the first date regardless. But many, many girls aren't willing to. They WILL bang you, but they won't walk into a situation and say, "Ok, let's bang." But if the opportunity presents itself she will.

So, you're on a date with Emiri at the bar or karaoke and you start kissing her. She kisses, it's fine, no problems. Then you try to take her back to your house: "Umm, it's getting late. I have to go."

Ah-ha! This is the problem most guys have. I, however, never have this problem. You won't either if you do it my way. Like this:

You're at the same bar with Emiri. You're talking and having a good time. You only touch her hand for a second, just enough to get her wanting more. You don't hold her hand. You have to let it go quickly. If you hold it to long you fail. Or, usually, you don't even have to worry about this because it isn't totally necessary. So, after you're talking you ask her to come over. She says, "Sure!" and you go home and happily nail her.

Why did we succeed only in the second example? Because if you kiss her the IMPLICATION for sex is there. Implying sex by kissing her will mean that if she goes to your house you will kiss her again. And, if she willingly goes to your house knowing that you'll kiss her that would mean that you're going to try to bang her. She might want to bang you too, but that desire for sex isn't stronger than her desire to not see herself as a slut.

"Her desire for sex isn't as strong as her desire to not see herself as a slut."

If sex is implied she might go back home. If you don't kiss her, however, she doesn't know what will happen. She may be thinking, "Does he even like me?" She likes you and wants to know more about you. Then when you do finally kiss her and get her wet you're not in the middle of the restaurant. Can you take her clothes off there? Usually not. But at home, you can. And she lets you because it's not in a public karaoke booth or park bench

Love hotel is the same thing. Sex is implied. Implied sex = no sex!

Party Girls: Japan, USA, and Online

I just thought I'd speculate a bit in hopes not of us understanding why women do what they do--because as we know not even they know why they do what they do--but to show how observing their behavior can help guess and their personalities and predict future behavior.

In the US there are several dating websites, one of which I'm a member and manage to meet a girls every so often. After about two years of using this site, however, I've come to link a few things together.

The site allows you to upload a maximum of five photos, which I feel is adequate. Most of them are of girls' faces. The site is though, as you can guess, is full of fatties. So it's only normal that thin women, in addition to a few face photos, choose to show photos proving that they're thin. Of course I'm hoping for a bikini shot, and although some normal girls will have one, most just show a picture of them wearing jeans or a dress at the last wedding they attended.

On dating sites many girls can deceive if only showing a cute face,

but the body shot soon shows that many of them are overweight

But then there is the type of girl who has lots of bikini pictures online. You can read her personality easily just by looking at her photos on Facebook. Tons of self-photos and bikini pics means the same on Facebook as they do on the dating site. In the US, this the type of girl who likes to party and be with the "in" crowd. This is perhaps an insecurity issue since their only sense of pride comes from their looks. To have success with these girls you have to be doing something "cool," such as being at the hippest house party of the weekend or the busiest club. Otherwise you have no chance (who you are or the type guy you are doesn't matter nearly as much as whether he's at the "cool" location she decided to go to that weekend).

Here's a nice girl, simply showing in one photo that she's in-shape

The provocative pictures suggests that these "party girls" thrive on attention. They don't want guys who show them little attention because they're intimidated by this type of guy. This type of guy may or may not have or have had better girls than her. However, if he doesn't show the right level of interest--if it's too high he's a lower if it's too low he's intimidating--she will not be with him. An example would be a guy who owns his own limo service which chauffeurs Czech models from LAX to Hollywood and has "dated a few." Can you see how the girl who's used to getting a lot of attention at the club would not want to be with this guy? She sees him as being too cool for her!

These girls need a PLACE to go where there are a lot showing them attention. They will use most of them for free drinks but that will be it. They'll end up going home with the guy who comes along at the right time and does or says something the opposite of the previous guy who failed. You see, it's not what you say or who you are, it's how she's feeling when you meet her. Granted, if you're good you can manipulate these feelings, and since doing so isn't the subject here, we'll just note the fact that girls' selection process and decisions are often based on rapidly changing emotions. Today you like him and tomorrow you don't. Today you sleep with a boring dork and tomorrow you turn down Johnny Depp. Or let's say it's just her and Johnny Depp in a cabin in the woods. Nope. She doesn't want it. She wants to be seen by others while she's with Johnny Depp.

The girls above are attention-whores. They feel, in their twisted minds, that all men are screwing them over. So they sabotage any chance of finding a nice guy by only going to meet men at bars and wonder why many of them are only looking for sex. Truth is, they really don't want a relationship; they want to feel special, so jump from guy to guy as the emotional high of being with a new guy wears off.

Maybe you can see how, if you walk up to a girl like this in the grocery store you will almost certainly fail, regardless of who you are. And if you do try, the only line that might interest her is something like, "Hey, my friends are having a party, wanna come?" A one-on-one date isn't of interest to them because they need the attention of more than one guy. Any guy who sees a girl he likes and asks her out is a "creeper." God! Why isn't he at a party with his friends or something? would be an adequate description of how they think.

Which girls are these in Japan? They're hot ones, of course. There is MIXI in Japan, but the Internet photos don't help us determine too much. In the US, if they have a lot of sexy photos on Facebook or the dating site they they're the party girls we mentioned above. In Japan, however, the insecure, party girl personality girls show it not as much by Internet photos, but by clothing. I'm sure a good 20-30% of the girls in Japan have been prostitutes at one time or another, and a huge percentage of the white skinned, yet blond, curly, fake hair girls with excessive flair are prostitutes. Or just hostesses. Yet it means nothing. The look of hostesses and prostitutes is so common that we can make it simple and say these are the prime example of party girls. You could have the tan-gyaru style too, yet they are rare. Put simply, though, a girl who unnecessarily dresses up is the "party girl" and won't be too interested in any who isn't at the place that she considers to be cool. Of course the guys who attend events are her favorite club are her idea of "cool," and although the bartender or DJ might not dress the same, they're in too, because they're there and have reason to be.

Anyone can see that this girl's face wouldn't be the most beautiful without all the makeup, hair, and designer clothing and accessories. Doesn't matter, though, she wants to be part of the "cool" group and will only feel special spending time with a guy from that group. No one will pick her up on the streets because that wouldn't make her feel special.

How can you get these girls? In the US, it's simple: make some guy friends and go to the club, bar, or party with them. The girls who are there are your targets. You can't get them walking down the street; you have to be IN THE PLACE that she considers cool.

In Japan you can't go to the dance event dressed like the guys there; you're white! Not gonna happen. It might happen with the ugly ones. Same type of girl, but they don't get much attention from the guys they really want. It might happen if you're in the right place at the right time. If you have a Japanese guy friend who's part of that "cool" group then you might find some success. For the most part, though, foreigners are not cool; and the only reason any foreigner bangs any hot girls like this is when the girl is--often secretly--interested in foreign men.

Can you see how, in the US, if you're not going to parties, bars, work outings, etc., it would hard to meet pretty women? I'm sure there's a way around this because I found a way in Japan, but here, since I can fit in, I'll just go to parties or clubs. In Japan all you can do is meet the girl, show that you're interesting and attractive, and hope that she's one who's not only secretly interested, but somewhat of a go-getter who's going to actually hang out with you. And you must...must!!...do it in a fashion that doesn't lead her to believe that it hasn't been announced to the word that she may soon be in a romantic situation with a foreigner.

Email Reply

Here's an email a reader wrote to me. With his permission I'm posting his email and also my response to it. When you're lazy like me this is the way your built content for your website ;)

Thanks alot for the response.

Just reading about how you managed to meet girls in normal bars/clubs as well as during the day at least gives me confidence by letting me know its possible. I'd kinda put it in the too hard basket and only really tried safer events like international parties where it's a pretty good bet any girls there are into foreign guys. For some reason though I find myself preferring ones that aren't really into English that much...I'm kinda going for the cute, innocent type that probably doesnt really go to clubs.

Right, thanks for the tips, after years of not much going on I figured I've gotta try and step it up instead of standing at a bar by myself hoping they'll come to me for some reason. Will try and get a wing or 2 perhaps as I feel a bit devalued going in by myself.

So people usually aren't too freaked out if you start talking to them out on the street or in a train? Would you recommend somewhere like Roppongi perhaps where they at least have it in their mind that they might be approached by a foreigner? And do you just chat about random stuff or try to get into a story or esp type routine or something?

Thanks again, if you do put that book out better print 101 coz I'd probably be interested too :)
I think what I really need is for you to attach a hidden camera so I can see exactly what you do and say though hehe

>> Just reading about how you managed to meet girls in normal bars/clubs as well as during the day at least gives me confidence by letting me know its possible

Yes, it is possible. But don't buy into the PUA mottos that might say, "The only reason you can't is because it's outside your reality," because in reality, you have to have several prerequisites before you can get hot girls. 1) You have to be in shape not fat, 2) you have to wear halfway decent clothes, 3) you have to speak good Japanese (a biggie), 4) and you have to be outgoing and willing to talk a lot to fill the silences because they often don't know what to say back to you. I have 3.5 of these (I'm not too fashionable). I'm not naturally a talker but I taught myself to be. And of course I had to learn Japanese and have never been overweight.

Regarding the milker parties, I think it's a good place to start. If I didn't go to those on occasion there would have been times when I went a long stretch without any action. These easy club girls or milkers will teach you a lot about girls. After you've met the above requirements you can conquer more. But still, even if you have all that you could hunt for 4 hours twice a week and after a month still come up empty handed. During this time you'll be glad the milker parties are there to save you!

>> So people usually aren't too freaked out if you start talking to them out on the street or in a train?

In my case, especially near the end of my stay in Japan, I had already been with 100s of girls and had a couple GFs. I was getting my future plans straightened out and was always listening to audiobooks about business (not related to girls in anyway except for the fact that I want to have money coming in while I travel the world meeting women!). So, when there was a girl I would generally ignore her; unless if she was a 9, that is, and then I'd go no matter where she was because that's what I wanted and they are so rare! The train is impossible if people can hear what you're talking about. In fact, anywhere where people are looking is impossible because the girl will be embarrassed and this negative feeling of embarrassment is stronger than the positive feeling of having a date with a nice foreign guy. Say for example a fat Oprah Winfrey is attractive to you and she comes to hit on you. You want her but know your friends are like 'Dude, WTF?' But if you were all alone you'd get her number. Well, picture yourself as the fat Oprah Winfrey.

>> Thanks again, if you do put that book out better print 101 coz I'd probably be interested too :)

Thanks. Someday I'll release that.

>> I think what I really need is for you to attach a hidden camera so I can see exactly what you do and say though hehe

It'd have to be hidden from me too or else I'd be shy and fail! It's the same as at work. I'm a pretty good salesman and I sell the product, accessories, and extended warranty (good practice for getting girls, actually, and vice versa). But, when the new guys are watching trying to learn I'm horrible! If there are a couple guys there with me talking to the girls I'm fine though. IF there are weirdos gawking behind me then I can't!