The Middle Opener

Many guys ask me, "So what do you open with?" And I'm like, "Kind sir, do you mean, what do I say when I first start hitting on a girl?" (Now that we're on the same page) I tell them 'Dude, I don't know, I just say something.' But this isn't enough for many guys and they want to have something pre-planned or else they will lack confidence and not even talk to the girl. Many want a line that has been tried by pick up gurus and when they find these lines they use them to death! (not recommended).

Truthfully, if I think about what I'm going to say I'll lack the confidence to go talk to them too! But I usually don't think about it, and that's the key. I only think about how hot they are and by the time I'm next to them I just spit something out. Sometimes it's totally weird but usually it's quite normal. Anyway, here a few types of opening lines. In order of nuts that it takes to perform them: Lame, Middle, Semi-Direct, Direct:

Lame Opener - this is when you ask the time, where the station is, or what color teddy bear to buy for your sister. I call it lame because it's deceiving: you use a girl's goodwill to lure her into conversation, then you attempt the conversion from the "Where's the station?" situation to a topic that will get you in her pants. This is the easiest way to start a conversation. Its opposite is the Direct Opener.

Direct Opener - with this, the girl can see that you're interested in talking to her simply by what you say or how you approach her. If you come from behind and ask her name or say, "Hi, what are you doing right now?" then it's pretty obvious and straightforward that you're hitting on her because you think she's cute. There are definitely times--when you're short on time, for example--when this and only this attempt will work. You can even go a step further and start with, "Hi, want to go on a date?," or "What's your number?" (Not recommended, though. Guess I know this?)

Semi-Direct Opener - Instead of saying something blatant, such as with the direct opener, you comment on something in the environment. If you're on the train platform you could say, "The train is late." If you're walking outside you could say, "Your keychain is cool, can I have it?" (I've actually gotten a lot of trinkets and bracelets this way, even when they don't give me their numbers!) It's obvious you're into her, but at least you're starting a conversation to which she can quickly add if she's interested. Note that if the girl is walking away from you and you're coming from behind your only choice would be Direct or Semi-Direct. Doesn't work, you say? My ass it doesn't! Just not as frequently.

Conversational Opener - I thought of this here in America because it's barely different than what chatty old guys say to me. I've been doing it for years in Japan, but never really saw how I could categorize it before. If I'm shopping or standing in the checkout line some old guy might start talking to me about the weather, the local sports team, or Obama's proposed medical reform bill. I call this the Conversational Opener, because you're really just trying to talk to anyone who will listen. And if that person who will listen is a hot girl who likes you then you're in luck!

Middle Opener - The middle opener, then, is when you're already in the vicinity of the girl so you can say what you want to her (think old man in the checkout). Instead of blabbing about the weather, though, you make a comment that subtly shows interest after she thinks back of it, but to anyone standing near it's not a blatant come-on. An example in the check out line at Starbucks would be, "Whacha gettin'?" (If you saw her coffee and said, "I like mocca" then it would be semi-direct, because you've commented on the object, whereas you asking her a question shows you're interested in her choice, not the object itself, which shows more interest in her.) It's so good because, "Whacha readin'?" or "Whacha eatin'" just isn't the same, because you're showing interest in something already present (food, books, etc). But if you say, "Where ya goin'?" you're showing interest in her, through interest any place she may be going. It's so much easier than other ways of starting a conversation and there's no awkwardness trying to convert the conversation from "Do you have the time?" to "So, where ya goin'?"

And I can't think of any good conclusive paragraph to put here, so I'll just wish you good luck!