I've had a lot of girlfriends. Yes, they overlapped, but they were serious, and the start of the short ones was no different from the start of the long ones. I didn't go back to check exact dates, but up to around 4 months I've had girls just disappear, some with no goodbye mail or anything. Some were virgins, some were older, some were hot, some were average. One thing holds true: the older, the more educated, the more "non-ADD" (as my friend would say) a girl is, the more likely she is to send you an explaination/goodbye mail. The younger, the more A-class a girl is, the less likely you are to get an explanation. The closer you are--you've met the parents, for example--the more likely you are to get a mail even if she's totally ADD hot blond hostess A-class 19 year old.
And then there are those ten or so relationships I had that lasted 6 months or more. Would you believe I still talk to all of them today? And, the eventual breakup was something I could have prevented, had I not wanted to breakup, which I did. I could have probably married most of these girls, had I not been evil and replace them with better ones.
So, I guess this is a message to guys who fall in love with a Japanese girl: don't trust her until you've been with her at least 6 months. If you don't change anything in that time, she'll probably stay with you at least a year. If a girl goes through some change--as they often do--it's likely you'll see one of those changes within 6 months and if she stays with you that long she'll stay with you longer. If it hasn't been 6 months, don't give her your heart!
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That's about all I have to say here, so since you're paying for this (you are paying me, right?), I'll tell a little story. This story doesn't include any girls who just stopped mailing me after a couple months, but Lord knows I have handfuls of those stories to tell too.
It was October and I picked up my average of a few girls a week or so, something like that. Here are the girls in the story:
- a) 19 year old tan blond gyaru virgin. Very hot. Met her at the convenience store.
- b) 23 year old extremely tiny, bitchy, smart, and a lot of fun. Met her in 100 shop.
- c) 28 year old hostess. Met her at hostess bar.
It just so happened that I set up the first dates with all three of these girls in a 2 day period. So, I met a) for drinks, banged her, sent her home then headed over to c)'s house when she finished work. The next day I dated b) and banged her too. I don't remember the order but it was something like that.
- a) She stayed with me dating me about once a week. She said she wouldn't have sex with someone she didn't like so we were together a year after that and now we're still in contact
- b) She had a BF when I nailed her and she broke up with him the next day. She was looking to get rid of him but had no alternatives. We had loads of fun together. I really liked this girl. But, she just decided to send me a mail 4 months later saying she wanted to get back with the old BF. That lasted a while, then she dumped him, then she met and banged me every three months or so, now she has a new BF.
- c) She realized our relationship of 3 months was going no where since we only met at 2 am and did pretty much nothing but video games, sex, and movies. You can't do much at 2 am but that was her excuse. She'll always reply if I mail. She has some customer BFs now. She says she'll see me if I have time. Maybe I'll see her next time I'm in Japan.
So, these girls are not the "disappear" type. They mailed even after we "broke up." The time period was the same, and two ended within four months, one stayed a year. When I left Japan I had four GFs. Three I had just met in the couple months before I left. Results: one stopped mailing a few weeks after I came to the US, one who I was really serious with answered my calls for two more months then started ignoring me, one broke up in person as I returned to Japan, one stayed with me.
In short, you can't really tell, so wait your 6 months then you'll know for sure!
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UPDATE: I wrote the following to a friend who'd recently got a girlfriend, and the topic is so similar that I thought I'd post it here:
There's nothing wrong with having a single GF and not cheating on her. That's what most guys do. One of the things PUAs in Japan have in common though, is that we (collectively) don't have GFs because we shag many girls. You always told me that you don't want a GF though; whereas most guys say they do. You changed, which is okay. Some guys change in the opposite direction when they find the PU community. This is okay too. I've usually had a GF plus other girls. But one GF kept me from cheating for a time. I even told all other girls I had a GF, so when that one girl dumped me I had no one. That'll never happen to me again though.
And that's why I'm writing this. I don't have too much of an opinion about morals of banging several girls or cheating on someone (because I myself don't feel it's bad). Sure, I might call guys with a GF gay, but that means nothing as most guys are one-girl guys. But, I just don't want anything to happen to you--or any guy on here--that makes you feel sad, hurt, or that you've wasted your time. I won't waste a girl's time either: if I date her a year and don't want to marry her I'll let her know that. If I don't want a LTR I'll tell her early-on. I hate seeing people do shit that hurts others. Sooo, I just want to say that you shouldn't dedicate yourself 100% to her just yet. So, maybe you don't want to cheat, which is fine, but don't send an email to all your regulars saying, "I got a GF." That'd be like burning your bridges. I know not all girls are like my ex-GF who dumped me, but I know that I've had it happen a good 10 times, even after 1-2 months. Your girl is probably more mature about suddenly flaking and is probably serious enough to only get into a relationship that she wants to be in. She likes you because you're a great guy and she's had time to see and evaluate that; she's not just with you for a quick fling.
Anyway, I'm happy for you and if you're happy I'm even happier. Most of what I was trying to say is in my Wait 6 Months Post, which I know you read, which basically says that although you may have dragged and dropped your copy of The Game into the Recycle Bin, you shouldn't empty the bin just yet.
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