My Excuses for Staying in Japan

So there you are, sitting in Japan. There's probably at least one excuse you tell yourself about why you're there. For my six years the excuses had been a lot of things. The first reason to go was to get with many Asian girls. During the first year, though, although I was happy with the girls, I had some problems preventing me from relaxing and enjoying my life, so I stayed longer.
During the second year I got my work and apartment situations straightened out and was happier. During the third year I started focusing heavily on getting the hot girls that no one gets. I got a few and eventually got a GF I really liked. Around the time I got her I realized that gaijin don't get girls like her because of the language problem. Ask Mild Seven, when I first started dating Eri neither of us could understand what the hell she was talking about! Young, hardcore male slang, I guess you could say.

For the few months I was dating her I rarely cheated, which was odd. I told myself that she was the reason I was in Japan. I started studying Japanese again to understand the things she was saying. When that relationship was finished I had no more excuses to be in Japan. I didn't have her, and since I didn't, I had no reason to study Japanese. I hated the world. It was around the end of year three and I considered leaving Japan. I vented steam though a monster rampage the following month and slept with ten new club girls.

Those girls and a new young tan-blond GF made me feel better. She, new girls, and the JLPT2 were my new reasons to be in Japan. I passed the test (and started studying for JLPT1), took her to the US to visit, and fooled around with other girls while learning more and more about Japan, the girls, the language, and the culture. The new GF helped me more than she knew with her speed-talking and hardcore speaking style. Learning these things was a slow process, but I do know a lot more now; more about the culture, more about the language, and more about serious relationships. Did you ever feel that you can't really be friends with a guy who doesn't speak Japanese or who has only been in Japan a year? I doubt I could be friends with my past self.

By the end of year four I was able to get several of the type of girls I couldn't get before. I moved to a bigger room thanks to working extra hours the year before, got it to where I only worked four days a week, had a string of nice GFs, and was basically living my dream life.

And then it stagnated. I was focused on attaining these things for a few years and when I got them I didn't even want them. Sure, I'll always probably want a girlfriend and new pussy on the side, but sometimes it's kind of like, "that's it?"

For a little background about why I feel I needed reason or excuses to remain in Japan, I'll show you the "Five Reasons Guys Go to Japan." It's not an essay or anything but just something in my head that's been important to me for years.

1) Money
2) Girls
3) GF/wife
4) Learning (martial arts, language, etc)
5) Manga/video game nerd or Japanophile

You could make more, but while I was in Japan I always made sure I was doing at least two of these to "excuse" myself for being in Japan neglecting my future. It was hard to mix Money with Girls because they both take time. GF and Learning Japanese went well together. I don't think I ever did all four (I was never into #5) hardcore at once, but I did three. Oddly, having a GF and getting new Girls goes together well too.

So, in year five I had everything I'd ever wanted, but didn't want it any more. I already had my current GF by then, but I'd read The Game and felt like clubbing a lot again. Maybe I was just subconsciously trying to justify still being in Japan? My urge to go to clubs only lasted a couple months.

At the beginning of my final year I saw a lot of changes. These changes are why I'm not in Japan now. Japan Lair started. Finally, a bunch of guys just like me. What I was doing wasn't bad. I felt better as seeing a bunch of guys also doing what I've been doing for years kind of justified how I'd spent my time, made me felt like my lifestyle was okay, and allowed me to move on. I met Amanojack and Thinker around that time too. A girl who had been staying with me for a month moved out and I was totally relieved. My GF who'd gone semi-silent for two months came back and we're still together today. Had it been two years earlier I wouldn't have understood relationships as much and would have lost her.

But, the main big change was my introduction to something different: I read a book. Then another. And another. After one year I'd read 90 books on mind state, self-happiness, mental preparation, human interaction, and business. I immediately stopped studying Japanese. So many smart guys' ideas to read! That was the kick in the pants I needed. After reading for a few months I knew I'd leave Japan in 2008. I planned on February but being late doesn't matter as long as you do it.

I left four beautiful GFs, but that's about two too many for me. I'm keeping the two blonds and letting the other two fizzle out. And so far home is good. This was supposed to be about me being in America. I even had to change the title from "Living in America" because I got off on a tangent about me staying in Japan. Ah well. I'll make another post about the US sometime. I don't know how long I'll be here, but I think I need some sort extended vacation from my what became a permanent vacation in Japan.