First I'll tell you how it is: in Japan, we are not the norm. We might be said to be handsome, but we are not viewed as cool, normal, mainstream, or acceptable. We're the equivalent of a handsome black man like Denzel Washington or Will Smith going to try to pick up girls in a town where half the men are white supremacists or KKK members. If that's not enough to convince you, read on to the next scenario.
Jessie, Lindsey, and Their Town
Jessie is a white girl in a fairly normal town in the USA. The town is predominately white, about 75%, with 10% being Hispanic, and 10% black. The other 5% are Arab or "other" and they don't generally leave their respective groups. Jessie is extremely gorgeous, as is her best friend Lindsey. They're both thin, blond, and guys hit on them every day. They only date the muscular guys who dance around and aren't too nice to the girls. You might call them wiggers, tools, or douchebags, but regardless, these dudes are the only ones getting the girls. Josh and Cody are these guys. They were Jessie and Lindsey's ex-boyfriends. Jessie was talking to one of Josh and Cody's friends afterwards, but it didn't work out.
Enter Kang and Ji
One day, when walking through the mall, Kang and Ji two Chinese guys, introduce themselves to Jessie and Lindsey. Kang and Ji speak pretty good English, but if you walked by them you'd be sure they were fresh off the boat. Actually, they're both 28 years old and just finished grad school in the US and have decent jobs. They've both been in the US for 5 years. You wouldn't call them handsome as they are really short and skinny and have the Chinese hairstyle Americans think of as "messy." In all, they're nice guys, but no one takes the time to find that out.
Jessie and Lindsey do, though. They exchange numbers and go on a double date with these guys. The go to the local bar and grill and have some burgers and a few drinks. They're having a good time until Josh, Cody, and all of their friends show up. Josh and Cody snicker at the girls for being with the Chinese guys because they're different and not cool like them. Kang and Ji ignore the comments but Jessie and Lindsey feel embarrassed.
Enter Loud Group of Guys
Another group of guys sitting near who don't even know Jessie and Lindsey. Many of them scream remarks in loud voices, "What are those hot girls doing with those foreigners?" "Those guys are dangerous!" "They're not normal!" "They never have any money!" "They probably have AIDS!" "They are really poor and only come to the world's number one country to rape our women!" "Dangerous!"
This goes on a for while and although Jessie and Lindsey liked Kang and Ji, after they finish their drinks they go home and never talk to them again. They even change their phone numbers because they are too cowardly to tell Kang and Ji that the real reason they can't hang out with them is because of what OTHER people think.
Poor Kang and Ji have had this happen on many occasions. They always get cockblocked by these jerkoff American losers who in 5 years will not have good jobs and will be fat and broke paying child support to 3 different women. But, for now, they have to deal with it.
Kang and Ji Find Girls
Kang and Ji have to settle for some chunky girls, Becky and Katie, with glasses who they met on campus. These girls are 21, but they aren't what you'd call beautiful. They are really interested in Kang and Ji though because they have many chances to practice their Chinese language skills on them. Kang and Ji don't really know what the hell they're trying to say, but they humor them because they want to have sex with someone. In fact, there are several girls studying Chinese at their school and, while none of them are cute, they can pretty much have their pick. They know the girls are using them for language and cultural understanding, but they're using the girls for sex, so it's okay. At least when they go back to China they can tell their friends they had sex with some "hot" American girls. Their friends won't know they're not hot. All white people look alike to them.
And that's your story, folks. If you can make sense of that and change the actors you've just been shown how cute Japanese girls feel when being picked up by foreigners. Hope you enjoyed that!
Characters
Kang - You
Ji - Your best friend
Jessie & Lindsey - Hot Japanese girls
Josh & Cody - Gyaru-o
Guys in Bar - Jealous Japanese guys
Becky & Katie - Milkers
Bar & Grill - Izakaya
USA - Japan
Kang - You
Ji - Your best friend
Jessie & Lindsey - Hot Japanese girls
Josh & Cody - Gyaru-o
Guys in Bar - Jealous Japanese guys
Becky & Katie - Milkers
Bar & Grill - Izakaya
USA - Japan
Note: No racist comments have been made by the author nor should any be assumed. Any derogatory statements have been used as an explanation method and are not the views of anyone at NuBreed Nampa.
10 comments:
Brilliant, concise assessment of the situation. Doubtless, the most crystal clear metaphor I've read yet. From now on, when guys ask me "why do they ACT like that?", I'm sending them here.
The thing that frustrates me is that when I mention this type of behavior, people think I'm looking for it and it attracts me. It's best to ignore it. I don't think that ignoring it is a effective way to get the desired outcome. Confronting the guys that drop the shit on us, and making them look stupid doesn't help either. Getting the best of this situation is something I' trying to figure out.
BTW, I've got a blog now. Im still trying to figure it out though.
Anonymous, thanks for the encouraging comment! Some of the things I want to write, depending on the reader, are better to be left unwritten as they might upset some people. But for others, it might help them understand some of the Japanese behavior they're seeing that's troubling them. I'll write up more as time permits!
Ransom, I really know what you mean about the people who tell you that you're the one who attracts the problems into your life. To me it seems there was a "positive movement" that started sometime around 2006 or so. I think those comments to you come from people who have some problems of their own or else some other deficiency in their lives. If they feel they can handle your problem then maybe they feel somewhat satisfied? I can do the same thing to you, though: if you don't want people to tell you that you are looking for the unwanted situation, don't tell them your problems! ;)
Well the way my azn mates in australia get around that is by having white friends.
So in japan if you have japanese guy friends will it be less of an issue?
Are your Asian friends in Australia Australian, though, or are they actually from other countries? If they speak normal Aussie English and grew up there I can't imagine it would be as much of a problem because the only difference would be physical. Not sure though have never been there.
No, in Japan, if you have Japanese guy friends you will never be just one of the guys. Well, I guess in rare situations it can happen but when they refer to you it will never be as "My friend did so and so," it would be "My American friend did so and so." Always. Most guys I know get cockblocked by their Japanese "friends" when they try to go for one of their women.
I absolutely agree.
I think it's funny that, while white guys can get a LOT of women in Japan, they can't usually get the ones that are actually cute.
Haha. Too bad.
Kidding, kidding.
Anyway, interesting blog. This post was dead on.
It has been confirmed by a couple jock-looking Japanese friends who have studied in the states that even if Ji and Kang get muscles, American style haircuts, and start wearing popped polos and Abercrombie...they still have trouble with hot white girls.
^^ So interesting!
I wonder how it is for white women/women of color in Asia. Do you have any info on that?
It might have to do with conditioning though too. In my limited experience in life, I have seen that the white girls that jocks go for tend to be brought up to like stupid meathead jocks. Most Asian guys don't fit that stereotype (at least not in Taipei, where i live).
But, my type is the super effeminate Asian boy with perfect hair and stylish clothes. If one of those comes up to me, I have no defenses. I think if it's the right type for someone, they are all for it. If it's not their type, it's substantially more difficult.
Your scenario is so damn accurate. This is coming from a guy who spent a decent amount of time in a large city in Japan trying to get the same girls the young Japanese guys were after (i.e., hostesses, onei-kei, gyaru, etc.). Although I eventually became fairly successful, it was a long hard road. My ego took a lot of bruising on the way, and success required a ton of careful observation and analysis on my part to figure out how people's minds work.
It's amazing how many foreigners (even those living in Japan) still cling to the belief that "any Japanese girl will jump into bed with any foreigner." They have no idea what the reality is there, and just how much work it takes to get the fine J-girls. Those like you and I who know first hand just what cockblockers J-guys (and J-girls!) can be, know better.
Spot on NuBreed. Breaking it down like this really helped me make sense of some of the frustration I'm getting from street nampa.
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