Party Girls: Japan, USA, and Online

I just thought I'd speculate a bit in hopes not of us understanding why women do what they do--because as we know not even they know why they do what they do--but to show how observing their behavior can help guess and their personalities and predict future behavior.

In the US there are several dating websites, one of which I'm a member and manage to meet a girls every so often. After about two years of using this site, however, I've come to link a few things together.

The site allows you to upload a maximum of five photos, which I feel is adequate. Most of them are of girls' faces. The site is though, as you can guess, is full of fatties. So it's only normal that thin women, in addition to a few face photos, choose to show photos proving that they're thin. Of course I'm hoping for a bikini shot, and although some normal girls will have one, most just show a picture of them wearing jeans or a dress at the last wedding they attended.

On dating sites many girls can deceive if only showing a cute face,

but the body shot soon shows that many of them are overweight

But then there is the type of girl who has lots of bikini pictures online. You can read her personality easily just by looking at her photos on Facebook. Tons of self-photos and bikini pics means the same on Facebook as they do on the dating site. In the US, this the type of girl who likes to party and be with the "in" crowd. This is perhaps an insecurity issue since their only sense of pride comes from their looks. To have success with these girls you have to be doing something "cool," such as being at the hippest house party of the weekend or the busiest club. Otherwise you have no chance (who you are or the type guy you are doesn't matter nearly as much as whether he's at the "cool" location she decided to go to that weekend).

Here's a nice girl, simply showing in one photo that she's in-shape

The provocative pictures suggests that these "party girls" thrive on attention. They don't want guys who show them little attention because they're intimidated by this type of guy. This type of guy may or may not have or have had better girls than her. However, if he doesn't show the right level of interest--if it's too high he's a lower if it's too low he's intimidating--she will not be with him. An example would be a guy who owns his own limo service which chauffeurs Czech models from LAX to Hollywood and has "dated a few." Can you see how the girl who's used to getting a lot of attention at the club would not want to be with this guy? She sees him as being too cool for her!

These girls need a PLACE to go where there are a lot showing them attention. They will use most of them for free drinks but that will be it. They'll end up going home with the guy who comes along at the right time and does or says something the opposite of the previous guy who failed. You see, it's not what you say or who you are, it's how she's feeling when you meet her. Granted, if you're good you can manipulate these feelings, and since doing so isn't the subject here, we'll just note the fact that girls' selection process and decisions are often based on rapidly changing emotions. Today you like him and tomorrow you don't. Today you sleep with a boring dork and tomorrow you turn down Johnny Depp. Or let's say it's just her and Johnny Depp in a cabin in the woods. Nope. She doesn't want it. She wants to be seen by others while she's with Johnny Depp.

The girls above are attention-whores. They feel, in their twisted minds, that all men are screwing them over. So they sabotage any chance of finding a nice guy by only going to meet men at bars and wonder why many of them are only looking for sex. Truth is, they really don't want a relationship; they want to feel special, so jump from guy to guy as the emotional high of being with a new guy wears off.

Maybe you can see how, if you walk up to a girl like this in the grocery store you will almost certainly fail, regardless of who you are. And if you do try, the only line that might interest her is something like, "Hey, my friends are having a party, wanna come?" A one-on-one date isn't of interest to them because they need the attention of more than one guy. Any guy who sees a girl he likes and asks her out is a "creeper." God! Why isn't he at a party with his friends or something? would be an adequate description of how they think.

Which girls are these in Japan? They're hot ones, of course. There is MIXI in Japan, but the Internet photos don't help us determine too much. In the US, if they have a lot of sexy photos on Facebook or the dating site they they're the party girls we mentioned above. In Japan, however, the insecure, party girl personality girls show it not as much by Internet photos, but by clothing. I'm sure a good 20-30% of the girls in Japan have been prostitutes at one time or another, and a huge percentage of the white skinned, yet blond, curly, fake hair girls with excessive flair are prostitutes. Or just hostesses. Yet it means nothing. The look of hostesses and prostitutes is so common that we can make it simple and say these are the prime example of party girls. You could have the tan-gyaru style too, yet they are rare. Put simply, though, a girl who unnecessarily dresses up is the "party girl" and won't be too interested in any who isn't at the place that she considers to be cool. Of course the guys who attend events are her favorite club are her idea of "cool," and although the bartender or DJ might not dress the same, they're in too, because they're there and have reason to be.

Anyone can see that this girl's face wouldn't be the most beautiful without all the makeup, hair, and designer clothing and accessories. Doesn't matter, though, she wants to be part of the "cool" group and will only feel special spending time with a guy from that group. No one will pick her up on the streets because that wouldn't make her feel special.

How can you get these girls? In the US, it's simple: make some guy friends and go to the club, bar, or party with them. The girls who are there are your targets. You can't get them walking down the street; you have to be IN THE PLACE that she considers cool.

In Japan you can't go to the dance event dressed like the guys there; you're white! Not gonna happen. It might happen with the ugly ones. Same type of girl, but they don't get much attention from the guys they really want. It might happen if you're in the right place at the right time. If you have a Japanese guy friend who's part of that "cool" group then you might find some success. For the most part, though, foreigners are not cool; and the only reason any foreigner bangs any hot girls like this is when the girl is--often secretly--interested in foreign men.

Can you see how, in the US, if you're not going to parties, bars, work outings, etc., it would hard to meet pretty women? I'm sure there's a way around this because I found a way in Japan, but here, since I can fit in, I'll just go to parties or clubs. In Japan all you can do is meet the girl, show that you're interesting and attractive, and hope that she's one who's not only secretly interested, but somewhat of a go-getter who's going to actually hang out with you. And you must...must!!...do it in a fashion that doesn't lead her to believe that it hasn't been announced to the word that she may soon be in a romantic situation with a foreigner.

Email Reply

Here's an email a reader wrote to me. With his permission I'm posting his email and also my response to it. When you're lazy like me this is the way your built content for your website ;)

Thanks alot for the response.

Just reading about how you managed to meet girls in normal bars/clubs as well as during the day at least gives me confidence by letting me know its possible. I'd kinda put it in the too hard basket and only really tried safer events like international parties where it's a pretty good bet any girls there are into foreign guys. For some reason though I find myself preferring ones that aren't really into English that much...I'm kinda going for the cute, innocent type that probably doesnt really go to clubs.

Right, thanks for the tips, after years of not much going on I figured I've gotta try and step it up instead of standing at a bar by myself hoping they'll come to me for some reason. Will try and get a wing or 2 perhaps as I feel a bit devalued going in by myself.

So people usually aren't too freaked out if you start talking to them out on the street or in a train? Would you recommend somewhere like Roppongi perhaps where they at least have it in their mind that they might be approached by a foreigner? And do you just chat about random stuff or try to get into a story or esp type routine or something?

Thanks again, if you do put that book out better print 101 coz I'd probably be interested too :)
I think what I really need is for you to attach a hidden camera so I can see exactly what you do and say though hehe

>> Just reading about how you managed to meet girls in normal bars/clubs as well as during the day at least gives me confidence by letting me know its possible

Yes, it is possible. But don't buy into the PUA mottos that might say, "The only reason you can't is because it's outside your reality," because in reality, you have to have several prerequisites before you can get hot girls. 1) You have to be in shape not fat, 2) you have to wear halfway decent clothes, 3) you have to speak good Japanese (a biggie), 4) and you have to be outgoing and willing to talk a lot to fill the silences because they often don't know what to say back to you. I have 3.5 of these (I'm not too fashionable). I'm not naturally a talker but I taught myself to be. And of course I had to learn Japanese and have never been overweight.

Regarding the milker parties, I think it's a good place to start. If I didn't go to those on occasion there would have been times when I went a long stretch without any action. These easy club girls or milkers will teach you a lot about girls. After you've met the above requirements you can conquer more. But still, even if you have all that you could hunt for 4 hours twice a week and after a month still come up empty handed. During this time you'll be glad the milker parties are there to save you!

>> So people usually aren't too freaked out if you start talking to them out on the street or in a train?

In my case, especially near the end of my stay in Japan, I had already been with 100s of girls and had a couple GFs. I was getting my future plans straightened out and was always listening to audiobooks about business (not related to girls in anyway except for the fact that I want to have money coming in while I travel the world meeting women!). So, when there was a girl I would generally ignore her; unless if she was a 9, that is, and then I'd go no matter where she was because that's what I wanted and they are so rare! The train is impossible if people can hear what you're talking about. In fact, anywhere where people are looking is impossible because the girl will be embarrassed and this negative feeling of embarrassment is stronger than the positive feeling of having a date with a nice foreign guy. Say for example a fat Oprah Winfrey is attractive to you and she comes to hit on you. You want her but know your friends are like 'Dude, WTF?' But if you were all alone you'd get her number. Well, picture yourself as the fat Oprah Winfrey.

>> Thanks again, if you do put that book out better print 101 coz I'd probably be interested too :)

Thanks. Someday I'll release that.

>> I think what I really need is for you to attach a hidden camera so I can see exactly what you do and say though hehe

It'd have to be hidden from me too or else I'd be shy and fail! It's the same as at work. I'm a pretty good salesman and I sell the product, accessories, and extended warranty (good practice for getting girls, actually, and vice versa). But, when the new guys are watching trying to learn I'm horrible! If there are a couple guys there with me talking to the girls I'm fine though. IF there are weirdos gawking behind me then I can't!

On the Pickup Community

What does it mean to be "in pickup"? I am not part of this community and I don't study their materials. However, I talk to several guys who do. They sometimes make is seem that there is in pickup and out of pickup. And that in pickup = cool and out of pickup = uncool. This is not true. A good deal of the population can be considered cool and has never heard of pickup.

A 30 yo who's banged 2 girls can still be normal, social, and cool. And of the majority of the population who is not in pickup there are guys who are not only cool but good at banging girls. I'd be willing to bet that the best non-PUA "cool" guys bang better chicks than the best PUA guys do. Especially considering people only turn to help when they need to improve the situation, thus PUAs are often those who were struggling and their PU studies allow them to bang an insecure 25 year old virgin here and here. Thus also, I'm sure there are more socially awkward PUAs than there are socially awkward non-PUAs.

If you're awkward and have no interest in girls and you're not too good at talking to people and making friends (both male and female) and if reading PU material gives you more confidence--to talk people, haggle at a used car lot, not look down when ordering food, have more fun dancing at the bar, etc.--then more power to you. I've read a lot of self-help Tony Robbins type books that the general population thinks is cult-like and weird. Well, screw them. Because of books like that I'm happier than there and have more money and ideas than they do!

In short, participating in the PU community may help you get girls and might help you be happier (2 maybes there). I think some guys just use to to make friends or else just use it as an excuse to be lazy and not get girls. Whatever, waste your time I don't care. Again though, if doing (A) helps you reach your goal of (B) then you have my respect for trying to better your life.