Email Reply

Here's an email a reader wrote to me. With his permission I'm posting his email and also my response to it. When you're lazy like me this is the way your built content for your website ;)

Thanks alot for the response.

Just reading about how you managed to meet girls in normal bars/clubs as well as during the day at least gives me confidence by letting me know its possible. I'd kinda put it in the too hard basket and only really tried safer events like international parties where it's a pretty good bet any girls there are into foreign guys. For some reason though I find myself preferring ones that aren't really into English that much...I'm kinda going for the cute, innocent type that probably doesnt really go to clubs.

Right, thanks for the tips, after years of not much going on I figured I've gotta try and step it up instead of standing at a bar by myself hoping they'll come to me for some reason. Will try and get a wing or 2 perhaps as I feel a bit devalued going in by myself.

So people usually aren't too freaked out if you start talking to them out on the street or in a train? Would you recommend somewhere like Roppongi perhaps where they at least have it in their mind that they might be approached by a foreigner? And do you just chat about random stuff or try to get into a story or esp type routine or something?

Thanks again, if you do put that book out better print 101 coz I'd probably be interested too :)
I think what I really need is for you to attach a hidden camera so I can see exactly what you do and say though hehe

>> Just reading about how you managed to meet girls in normal bars/clubs as well as during the day at least gives me confidence by letting me know its possible

Yes, it is possible. But don't buy into the PUA mottos that might say, "The only reason you can't is because it's outside your reality," because in reality, you have to have several prerequisites before you can get hot girls. 1) You have to be in shape not fat, 2) you have to wear halfway decent clothes, 3) you have to speak good Japanese (a biggie), 4) and you have to be outgoing and willing to talk a lot to fill the silences because they often don't know what to say back to you. I have 3.5 of these (I'm not too fashionable). I'm not naturally a talker but I taught myself to be. And of course I had to learn Japanese and have never been overweight.

Regarding the milker parties, I think it's a good place to start. If I didn't go to those on occasion there would have been times when I went a long stretch without any action. These easy club girls or milkers will teach you a lot about girls. After you've met the above requirements you can conquer more. But still, even if you have all that you could hunt for 4 hours twice a week and after a month still come up empty handed. During this time you'll be glad the milker parties are there to save you!

>> So people usually aren't too freaked out if you start talking to them out on the street or in a train?

In my case, especially near the end of my stay in Japan, I had already been with 100s of girls and had a couple GFs. I was getting my future plans straightened out and was always listening to audiobooks about business (not related to girls in anyway except for the fact that I want to have money coming in while I travel the world meeting women!). So, when there was a girl I would generally ignore her; unless if she was a 9, that is, and then I'd go no matter where she was because that's what I wanted and they are so rare! The train is impossible if people can hear what you're talking about. In fact, anywhere where people are looking is impossible because the girl will be embarrassed and this negative feeling of embarrassment is stronger than the positive feeling of having a date with a nice foreign guy. Say for example a fat Oprah Winfrey is attractive to you and she comes to hit on you. You want her but know your friends are like 'Dude, WTF?' But if you were all alone you'd get her number. Well, picture yourself as the fat Oprah Winfrey.

>> Thanks again, if you do put that book out better print 101 coz I'd probably be interested too :)

Thanks. Someday I'll release that.

>> I think what I really need is for you to attach a hidden camera so I can see exactly what you do and say though hehe

It'd have to be hidden from me too or else I'd be shy and fail! It's the same as at work. I'm a pretty good salesman and I sell the product, accessories, and extended warranty (good practice for getting girls, actually, and vice versa). But, when the new guys are watching trying to learn I'm horrible! If there are a couple guys there with me talking to the girls I'm fine though. IF there are weirdos gawking behind me then I can't!

On the Pickup Community

What does it mean to be "in pickup"? I am not part of this community and I don't study their materials. However, I talk to several guys who do. They sometimes make is seem that there is in pickup and out of pickup. And that in pickup = cool and out of pickup = uncool. This is not true. A good deal of the population can be considered cool and has never heard of pickup.

A 30 yo who's banged 2 girls can still be normal, social, and cool. And of the majority of the population who is not in pickup there are guys who are not only cool but good at banging girls. I'd be willing to bet that the best non-PUA "cool" guys bang better chicks than the best PUA guys do. Especially considering people only turn to help when they need to improve the situation, thus PUAs are often those who were struggling and their PU studies allow them to bang an insecure 25 year old virgin here and here. Thus also, I'm sure there are more socially awkward PUAs than there are socially awkward non-PUAs.

If you're awkward and have no interest in girls and you're not too good at talking to people and making friends (both male and female) and if reading PU material gives you more confidence--to talk people, haggle at a used car lot, not look down when ordering food, have more fun dancing at the bar, etc.--then more power to you. I've read a lot of self-help Tony Robbins type books that the general population thinks is cult-like and weird. Well, screw them. Because of books like that I'm happier than there and have more money and ideas than they do!

In short, participating in the PU community may help you get girls and might help you be happier (2 maybes there). I think some guys just use to to make friends or else just use it as an excuse to be lazy and not get girls. Whatever, waste your time I don't care. Again though, if doing (A) helps you reach your goal of (B) then you have my respect for trying to better your life.

Face vs Body vs Personality

Face vs Body vs Personality

If there were a girl with a perfect body, very cute face, and great personality, of course she'd be anyone's dream woman. We usually don't get all three perfect, so we pretty much walk the middle ground: we find someone who looks fairly cute or who has at least grown on us, has a decent body that turns us on a bit, and who we usually get along well with.

Here I'm going to assume there is no middle ground. The girl is either an 8 or a 4 in each category (note: I'm throwing intelligence in with personality). So, a cute face is a 8/10 and a non-cute face is a 4/10. A good personality is someone you get along with most of the time and the other is just kind of boring. And the nice body is nearly your perfect ideal and the out of shape body is someone who's not fat, but maybe with a muffin top who could stand to lose a few pounds. Here is how I feel about the different combinations:

Girl 1 - Nice Personality Only
We'd get along and have fun, but unless if we get drunk I wouldn't be attracted to her below average face and chunky body. She and I would be friends I might see at the bar or a party, but I'd never invite her out alone. Thus, romantically, she fails and wouldn't see the first date.

Girl 2 - Cute Face Only *
She'd be chunky and boring. I'd get her home, we wouldn't have fun, and we'd have unremarkable sex. I ditch her after the first or second date.

Girl 3 - Nice Body ***
She might be a bore but I'd get drunk and have a good time myself. I wouldn't look at her face but would be staring at her cleavage. I'd keep her around for a few months for the sex so I could see that wonderful body.

Girl 4 - Cute Face and Nice Body ****
For me, if she had my ideal body type and a cute face but was kind of a bitch, I wouldn't marry her, but I'd date her and have lots of wonderful sex! I might be bored talking to her, but I'd be looking forward to getting her naked later that night! Because of the great sex and parading her around, she'd probably last a few months.

Girl 5 - Cute Face and Nice Personality **
Here we have a girl with a cute face who I get along well with. I could take her to many restaurants and have good conversation while looking at her pretty face. We'd have sex but I wouldn't look forward to it as much if she had a little extra meat on her. I'd get rid of her eventually.

Girl 6 - Nice Personality and Nice Body *****
This girl would make me feel a bit different. I would want to talk to her more and do interesting things because she's a really cool girl. And she still has the body so we'd have a lot of even better sex than I had with the girl above because we get along so well. This one here might be a keeper.

And there you have it! Both girls with the nice body and either other trait get 4/5 or 5/5 stars. What's interesting is that nice body alone gets 3 stars wheres Face + Personality only gets 2. Therefore, I value body over either of the other two.

Something else interesting is that Personality + Body with her 5 stars beats Face + Body (4 stars) in the long run because we might have a relationship (of course for one-time sex only Face + Body would win). However, when it comes to Personality Only vs Face Only, Face wins with 1/5 stars because I might at least try to bang her whereas Personality gets 0 because I wouldn't even ask her out.


For several years I've liked thin girls but ones that maintain slight curves. "Voluptuous" women may turn me on, but they won't keep me coming back like a 24 inch (60 cm) waist will.

I've actually been with TINY girls with 21" (52 cm) waists that I could actually wrap my hands around. These girls were about 5' tall (152 cm) and weighed about 38 kg (84 lbs). Very sexy and desirable. But this isn't my ideal. I'd like them a bit taller with somewhat more shapely breasts and hips.