Are You a PUA, NuBreed?

Even when the pickup acronyms weren't outdated the majority of them seemed pretty childish to me; except the ones I made up myself. ;) The labeling thing seems stupid, but we all do it subconsciously when judging if guys are fit to be our friends. If I'm a dart-player and fisherman and you are too, then we'll get along. It's just that we don't call ourselves "DP" or "fisherman," rather, we say, "Hey, you like to fish too? Man, we should hang out sometime," and someday you fish together. "Are you a PUA?" sounds dumb, and I'd never say it, but we used to ask new guys we'd meet: "So, how are the ladies treating you?" Depending on their answers, we might have a beer with them sometime and afterward talk to a few girls. Same process but just doesn't sound as weird as "Are you a PUA and if so will you be my wing to sarge some sets?"

So although I don't like the label, if PUA means "guy who's devoted a certain period of his life to attempting to pick up increasingly hotter girls by continuing to study them," then I'm no exception to the PUAs in "The Game," just not as lame. Any way you slice it I am a guy who picks up girls. I didn't go to Japan to improve my lifestyle, learn which songs to sing at karaoke, or learn about fashion. I went to pick up hot, so I'd say I'm "certainly a PUA." And although I don't do it the way Mystery teaches I've never met anyone in Japan who does it Mystery's way who picks up girls any hotter than the average girls I got my first year or two in Japan. If pickup skill has three levels--3-good, 2-average, 1-bad--I and most of the guys I was/am friends with in Japan found themselves going from 2 to 3 at some point. I think the Mystery-style stuff is only good for helping someone go from 1 to 2, but those techniques can never move you past 3. You have to do that on your own. When I tried it I think I went from 3 back to 2. It's like riding a tricycle. Sure, the tricycle's easy to learn and will get you to the next neighborhood, but when you finally take the time to learn to ride a bicycle (i.e. study Jap, study women) you can go faster and further with less effort.

Japanese Cockblockers

I think I've experienced being cockblocked by Japanese guys on the street as much as anyone simply because I was always hunting in the vicinity of Japanese pick-up guy. I don't really have a highly successful way to deal with it, so if a golden rule is what you seek, skip this article! There is some insight about the situation and thoughts about what to do about it.

Japanese Guys Doing Pickup

When I learned pickup I didn't read books by American gurus, I watched Japanese nampa guys. Here are a few types:

• 1) Some are good - so good that you rarely notice them--they don't look like they're hunting
• 2) Some are direct - they come up from behind and throw out a barrage of questions, often with their wing's mouth moving just as fast
• 3) And some are shy - they'll sit with their 10 buddies and push each other for 5-10 minutes to go to talk to one seated girl. Then after he starts talking they all jump out and attack her

How Japanese Guys Cockblock You & What To Do About It

1. Good Nampa Guys
The good nampa guys will likely not do anything when you're talking to a girl. They don't fit in the category of cockblocking. They can't, because they're nice guys. If they do, I'm automatically switching them to type 2 or 3, because, for that time anyway, they are being very direct and/or shy pussies.

2a. The Direct Guys
These guys can be stereotyped as hosts, although some aren't. These guys have really hurt me over the years. They are not shy and they are always warmed up. They talk to girls for a living. You can of course tell hosts by their clothes and with a little observation you can tell the daily nampa guys too by their clothes and demeanor. They aren't what you'd call respectable-looking. Girls who talk to gaijin (that is, nearly every girl we've ever talked to) will 80-90% of the time say they don't like these guys. My theory is that they like these guys but since they can't get the handsome ones they've convinced themselves to hate them.

These direct guys hurt you by simply walking right up and talking to the girl while you're there. The main line they use is, "Why are you talking to a foreigner" or something similar to make the girl feel inadequate for talking to gaijin. You really need to be prepared to get out of this one. One that really does work is to play dumb like this and say to the girl: "Hey? Do you know him too? Wow, that's funny, you saw me (your brother's friend, etc) and now you see this guy...." and if you continue talking longer he'll assume that you know her and leave you alone. If someone interrupts you might say that the girl is your student, and he might disappear. If you have to comment on the gaijin issue it has to be a comment that makes her feel it's cool to talk to gaijin. Actually that's not your goal, it doesn't matter how she feels, it matters how he thinks she feels! If he really thinks she wants to be talking to you he's gone. If she doesn't feel that it's cool to talk to you and if he is still standing there she'll stop talking to you out of embarrassment. So the key is to make him think that you're not picking her up.

Another thing I think that would work is a lot of the Pickup community AMOG tactics a lot of foreigners use on other gaijin in the bars. I'm not too familiar with them but know a few. When the hostboy comes up you can say to the girl, "Oooohh, he's cute! You told me that you like hosts, right?" Then, at that point, "gaijin" isn't the word that's embarrassing, it's "host." And if she feels embarrassed about that she might take a step away from him and he might leave. My main defense has always been to speak loudly and quickly to show the guy that she's actively involved in a conversation, in Japanese, she's focused on me, and that you aren't in our circle. I'd say this defers a good number of cockblock attempts before they begin, but not all especially:

2b. Direct Nampa from Vehicles
A huge problem I've had is with the guys who drive around in their painted vans hunting girls out the window. The have really, REALLY hurt me over the years. The girls sometimes go up to the car and talk to the guys while you're standing there looking like a dummy. I don't know how to deal with this. Even if the girls don't talk to the guys, just their presence is enough to make girls lose interest. Tip: if you notice these guys driving by looking at you and the girls, know that they will go around the block and be back again! Move the girls off of the road and preferably, out of sight!

Tip: these guys will show up only upon first talking to girls. If they see you first go up and hunt the girls and see that the girls stop to talk to your insignificant gaijin monkey butt then they think the girls are easy targets. These direct guys will never sit around watching for 5 minutes before they go cockblock you, that would make them type 3.

3. Shy Guys
Some guys will sit around a location where there are several girls sitting. I'm thinking HEP5 in Osaka. The girls sit, the guys sit. You can watch the guys watching the girls. They don't notice you yet, other than just a gaijin on vacation or something. You can sit and watch them for 10 minutes or more and if they haven't already they never go talk to the girls they are looking at. However, when you decide to go talk to the girls, BAM! They are right there within seconds! I've seen this and theorized with my friend Amanojack about this. We couldn't put two and two together, but we did conclude this: these guys will sit and stare at the girl until the girls leave. If Japanese hosts or nampa guys nampa them they won't budge. The only time they will move if is a gaijin talks to them. It's baffling to me. I would assume that if some drunk old men or loser guys came up to talk to the girls that the shy guys would also move in for the kill at this time thinking 'If the girls talk to those losers/old men/foreigners they'll talk to us!' A case of feeling insufficient, huh?

About solutions, here it's a bit harder because you don't have to get rid of just one guy, you have to get rid of all of them! They know you don't know her too because they've been sitting there stalking her for the past 10 minutes. If you read the above you would have seen how they always push their friend to go for it and after he talks the rest of the guys attack on cockblock each other. Well, you've just become the first friend and I have no clue what to do about this! You can try the solutions above, but you have to convince several guys instead of just one. Tough! 頑張れ、コンパドレー！

How to Schedule Fussy Girls

This essay was selected from many to post for all to see. I actually thought I had it on the site already. If you want to know who I am and how I think, in this article you'll learn. There are some really deep explanations of certain thinking patterns. There isn't a perfect translation of the Japanese, however, I do explain most of it below the text. I really think this will help you learn how you should treat girls who are used to having things a certain way. I guess you'd call this your "frame." It might take you 10 minutes to read though, but if I didn't recommend reading it to help you get hotter girls it wouldn't be up here. Spending a few hours to read this site should really raise the learning curve...yes, you still have to study Japanese on your own! ;)

How to Schedule Fussy Girls

by NuBreed

I usually only give advice on the basics. It’s not flashy, so I don’t know if anyone thinks it’s useful. Is my advice too plain and boring? Maybe. But it’s worked for me. I truthfully think the basics, common sense, and experience are much more useful than anything considered “high level” by me, friends, or anything in a PUA book. But I’ve had this dialog with myself: 'Nobody cares about my little tricks that will only be useful once in a great while. They stem from my experience in certain situations. They are different from the little tricks taught by masters to inexperienced guys who may not even understand pickup basics. Since my tricks, stats, and experience are different from a what a guru might advise, I think guys tend to dismiss them.'

I no longer listen to what someone less experienced tells me what I shouldn’t do if it’s already been proven to work for me. I will value gestures and consider advice, but not in an area I’m successful. And the things that I hear that do work, if I’ve already tried them, I will dismiss them unless if it’s a new solution to something I failed at before. Many people actually dismiss any new idea upon hearing it, not just PUA tactics. However, when I have time to think alone, my original guards of keeping everyone out of my head are brought down and I ponder the idea. Only then do I choose to discard it or test it (the last time I tested a new idea of “insta-”s it resulted in 6 insta-makeouts in 5 weeks, half leading to [insta-]sex. Thanks AJ). This time I’m not going to hold back and will share the thoughts I had during mail conversation with a stubborn 18 yo. A Japanese friend and I picked her and her friend up at a matsuri. It’s not a template per se, but indicative of how, if you say the right things, you can turn a probable flake into a date. Also remember, I learned everything through trial and error of picking up J-girls, so what I think might be different than what you’re used to hearing. Anyway, here’s one way to use email (text) to schedule a fussy girl:

She (9/1 12:13) NuBreedごめん！携帯止まっとった！祭のしょうこやけど覚えてる？
　　　　　I’d picked her up a few days before but she didn’t write back and apparently didn’t get the mail or two I sent during that time. I was surprised to get this mail as I thought she had already flaked, which would be expected by the way I picked her up: in a mall; l after talking for 10 minutes; just before the fireworks started; with a can of beer in my hand.

Me (9/2 15:56): Wow! 生きてるんや！笑　うん、覚えてんで～　携帯直ってよかったね。今日その辺で遊んでんの？
　 　　　　This mail shows her that I remember her, am in good spirits, have time to write back now (by the question), and am capable of small talk in Japanese. I also wanted to know what she was doing at the moment. You’ll see why later.

She (9/2 15:59): 今日は友達とご飯食べに行ってる！　てか車持ってるんでしたっけ？
　　　　　Notice how I have the sets of mails in this post grouped into time periods and she’s the last one to mail during each long break in time. I’m the one who cuts off the conversation by just not replying. It isn’t a necessary method, but being unpredictable has proven to be successful. You can’t make them wait too long, though. And since I didn’t count on this girl writing back in the first place, I didn’t mind going for all or nothing Note that she hopes I have a car, or she wouldn’t have asked the question.

Me (9/2 18:16): 車持ってるけどあまり使ってない。ただ友達とご飯してるの？俺またしょうこと遊びたい！いつ行けるの？
　 　　　　I made her wait, but not all that long (2 hours). I address the car issue immediately, as no matter what happens, I will not be picking her up in a car as I don’t have one. But, I want to be grouped with the guys who do, so I fib to maintain that value to her. I make no promise about the car, but in her head, she hopes that someday she will be riding in my car. It’s her fantasy, not mine. And my fib was for the purpose of not destroying that fantasy. There actually is a car at work, but it’s not mine. If you lie, base it on something, so that you can back it up if you ever have to. I then pull a double question, one of which she’ll likely answer. I was interested if she was with her friend because I wanted to schedule her right then and there, but I can’t say it or I’d be needy. I also tell her I want to see her badly, and ask when she’s free. The interest and date invite show her I’m interested; and part of my weed-out process - if she’s going to flake, it might as well be sooner than later. I go all-or-nothing often, because my phone is full of girls and I really don’t care that much about any of them as there will be new, hotter ones each time I go out to look for them. No reason to play girls’ games anymore.

She (9/2 18:19): じゃあ今度心斎橋連れってって
　　　　　She indicates she’ll see me.

Me (9/2 18:20): いいよ！☆　土曜わ？
　　　　　No nonsense response and a quick discussion of when. I was actually busy Saturday, but if I would have gotten her I would have canceled the other plans at the last minute, because that’s totally appropriate when dating in Japan.

She (9/2 18:21): いいでっ！前会った４人で行こ？
　　　　　This comment suggesting a Level 2 date just DRASTICALLY reduced the chances we’ll ever meet.

Me (9/2 18:28): Ok! (^_^) でも最初の時二人だけのデートしよう？
　　　　　I agree with the “ok,” making her feel she has control. However, I completely ignore my “ok” and counter with another all or nothing power word: “date.”

She (9/2 18:31): 慣れるまでゎ４人がいいかも
　　　　　The beginnings of what is over 90% likely to lead to a “refusal to date alone” - something most guys can’t understand. To get the meaning, think of the word “refuse” as a definite, solid no. At this first sign of refusal, I am totally loose, as I feel I no longer have her where I want her and anything I try will go down hill from here. I would have given up, but it only takes a minute to shoot off a mail, so why not? I made her wait for the time being, though.

Me (9/2 23:54): 二人で遊びたくないのは、信用してないってこと？
　　　　　Trust. Prejudice. These are just a few words that make Japanese people change their attitude and console their conversation partner and save face for everyone involved. Use these “power words” carefully.

She (9/2 23:56): そーゆうンちゃうけど　４人とかの方が楽しいし。。　
　　　　　Another refusal. My patience wore thin and I didn’t care anymore at all, so I let the BS fly:

Me (9/3 00:02): 俺しょうこと喋ってすごい楽しかったよ。四人遊びたいけどそれはしょうこのことを知ってから。最初の時、四人で遊ぶことしたらな、今までその子といつも最後になるからイヤ～ (-_-)しょうこに一回だけ会いたくないから (;_;)
　 　　　　Told her I liked her company. Told her I don’t like to meet girls just once. I grouped her with all girls who refuse a Level 1 date the first time, but strive for a 4-person Level 2 date and don’t want to meet up again. Japanese are the world’s biggest stereotypers, but they hate being stereotyped themselves.

She (9/3 00:03): そんなん　　大丈夫って　　そーゆう子ばっかじゃないし
　　　　　This is a lie; she is that kind of girl and they all fit the stereotype even if they don’t know it. If she’s too scared or nervous for a Level 1, one on one date the first time and would rather never see you again than to meet me alone, chances are high they will never go on a Level 1.

Me (9/3 0:34): そういう子って？
　　　　　This is a stupid line I learned from girls. Give them a taste of their medicine, even though she hasn’t used that medicine yet, I know she does, because she’s a Japanese girl, and the type I get are often the same. Everything a lot of these girls do is subconscious inbred behavior learned from elementary school age.

She (9/3 00:37): さっきゆてたようなん
She gives me the medicine right back, proving my assumption that she’s no different.

Me (9/3 00:54): だから四人で会ったら今度普通に二人で遊ぶってこと？　(^_^)
　　　　　I was just curious if she’d say yes or not. My friend might actually have wanted to go with all 4 of us on a Level 2, so I was just trying to get a promise out of her. If I get that, either I get my Level 1 date after, or else laugh because I predicted she’d break her promise after we meet for a Level 2.

She (9/3 16:54): 昨日寝てた　　だから４人で遊ぼ？
　　　　　She sleeps so there’s an unintentional time break here. She still persists though, so I ignore.

Me (9/4 13:07): うん！また今度ね！(^o^)/
　　　　　A one-day gap and one line. This is hostess or busy, popular girl style mail. It often means “Sure, whatever you say.” This girl is not a hostess, so mailing like this puts me in a position of power. I just fed her more J-girl medicine. Not caring gives you the most power. That’s some important advice right there. I learned that from a 45 year old ex-player. Reading the content of what I said, you can see that it’s now like she’s the one asking me out and I’m rejecting her! See how it’s turned around? Who’s perusing who? I should have laid off and done this a mail or two earlier, actually. I actually messed it up, if I were going that route, but, she didn’t notice—and I didn’t care.

She (9/4 22:52): 今度ってえ？
　　　　　Me not answering this question shows almost as much as me telling her “kondo.” “Kondo” means absolutely nothing. It replaces no sometimes, but means “next time” sometimes. Instead of asking me what I meant by using “kondo,” she has to be hard-headed and give me J-girl medicine and ask a question without actually asking a question. It’s built into her to make people ask her more questions. No Japanese guy friend will be this vague with you, unless if he’s looking for power. Girls look for power subconsciously, and are satisfied when you pursue answers from them. However, they subconsciously respect you less for doing it. So, I beat her by not replying when she was awaiting a reply. I didn’t care, so that gave me the fuel to resist the urge to contact her. She also may have felt she drove me away. 24 hours later she mails again.

She (9/5 23:18): やっぱ遊びに行くン　　２人でいーよ！
　　　　　Really? Is this a trick? I thought so at first. I was going to mail something saying, “maybe we can meet 4 people after all,” and make her happy. After she’s happy I would tell her, “you know, you’re right, 2 people is best.” That way, it would be more of her suggestion and not mine, and she’d be more obligated to say yes. But instead, I choose the route of silence for a day, which is never a bad choice, and often what you should do when unsure.

Me (9/6 19:13): うん、いいよ！　(^_^) いつ空いてるの？日曜？
　　　　　Again, a no BS response and a quick discussion of when.

She (9/6 22:11): 日曜って今週？
　　　　　Another unconscious stupid question on her part as the sixth was a Thursday. Her punishment for being J-girl was another day of waiting for my mail.

Me (9/7 22:41): 返事遅くてすいません！　(-_-) 日曜ね、うん！今週末でいいよ！月曜も休みになった！いつがいい？門限何時？２２時ぐらい？
　 　　　　”I’m sorry for mailing late,” in English, might be translated as “hi.” I wanted to use the meaningless greeting here. Then, I informed her without being a dick that in any language, on a Thursday, “Let’s meet Sun” means “this Sun.” She was probably thinking I meant “any given Sunday.” I fact, maybe I messed up the Jap here. I’ll have to ask a friend about that. In either case, though, it’s always best to be specific with Japanese people. Although their language doesn’t use subjects much, they really get confused by this, even when talking to each other (Ex: Did you eat yet?....what, a meal?....yeah, a meal….me?....yeah, you…yeah, why?....because I’m hungry…..sorry, I already ate).

I gave her two days here because I want to meet her fast as I don’t know how long she’s going stick to wanting to meet for a Level 1. I also wanted to find out what time she has to go home by, and I suggested later that I thought she was willing to stay out, kind of like discounting in a store. For example, if I would have asked her “You gotta be home by what, 8?” then she’d probably have to be home by 7. Therefore, I said 10 expecting her to say 9 .

Finally, I just assumed that by her saying “Sunday?” the day before, that she meant she could see me that weekend. Assuming answers, being decisive, and taking control are all musts for efficiently getting girls.

She (9/7 22:57): 用事あるから５時くらい
　　　　　So, she’s busy Sunday nights with something (she told me what it was but I didn’t include it here). She also successfully ignored my curfew question. Girls often will only answer one of a few questions.

Me (9/7 22:59): 早いな！だから日曜お昼から遊んだらいいの？
　　　　　Wanted to make sure I have ample time to nail her. If I were to meet her at twelve and she had to leave by five I could probably pull it off.

She (9/7 22:59): うん　　日曜って１６やんな？
Don’t ask. But I rolled with it.

Me (9/7 23:02): 今週まだわからないから来週のほうがいいかも！(you)いつがいいの？
　　　　　I semi-ruled out this Sunday by saying I don’t know yet. That way, I could change it later, if I have to. But she will likely view me as a guy having other things to do that wait for her. We both agree on the 16th. I didn’t mention “16th," though, just in case if later for some reason I have to pretend to have misunderstood. I planted an evil seed to lie or flake. I learned that from J-girls.

She (9/7 23:04) うん！　今週は無理。　１６ね！ (^_^)/
　　　　　Agreed. Now to just mail a few times and wait for the 16th!

So that's one way to get a fussy girl. Some parts might have been risky if I actually cared. For the record, most girls this fussy or begging for Level 2s don't end up agreeing to Level 1s. This one did. If you do it enough you create your own luck, right? She didn't all out refuse, though, so that's what helped me.