My Excuses for Staying in Japan

So there you are, sitting in Japan. There's probably at least one excuse you tell yourself about why you're there. For my six years the excuses had been a lot of things. The first reason to go was to get with many Asian girls. During the first year, though, although I was happy with the girls, I had some problems preventing me from relaxing and enjoying my life, so I stayed longer.
During the second year I got my work and apartment situations straightened out and was happier. During the third year I started focusing heavily on getting the hot girls that no one gets. I got a few and eventually got a GF I really liked. Around the time I got her I realized that gaijin don't get girls like her because of the language problem. Ask Mild Seven, when I first started dating Eri neither of us could understand what the hell she was talking about! Young, hardcore male slang, I guess you could say.

For the few months I was dating her I rarely cheated, which was odd. I told myself that she was the reason I was in Japan. I started studying Japanese again to understand the things she was saying. When that relationship was finished I had no more excuses to be in Japan. I didn't have her, and since I didn't, I had no reason to study Japanese. I hated the world. It was around the end of year three and I considered leaving Japan. I vented steam though a monster rampage the following month and slept with ten new club girls.

Those girls and a new young tan-blond GF made me feel better. She, new girls, and the JLPT2 were my new reasons to be in Japan. I passed the test (and started studying for JLPT1), took her to the US to visit, and fooled around with other girls while learning more and more about Japan, the girls, the language, and the culture. The new GF helped me more than she knew with her speed-talking and hardcore speaking style. Learning these things was a slow process, but I do know a lot more now; more about the culture, more about the language, and more about serious relationships. Did you ever feel that you can't really be friends with a guy who doesn't speak Japanese or who has only been in Japan a year? I doubt I could be friends with my past self.

By the end of year four I was able to get several of the type of girls I couldn't get before. I moved to a bigger room thanks to working extra hours the year before, got it to where I only worked four days a week, had a string of nice GFs, and was basically living my dream life.

And then it stagnated. I was focused on attaining these things for a few years and when I got them I didn't even want them. Sure, I'll always probably want a girlfriend and new pussy on the side, but sometimes it's kind of like, "that's it?"

For a little background about why I feel I needed reason or excuses to remain in Japan, I'll show you the "Five Reasons Guys Go to Japan." It's not an essay or anything but just something in my head that's been important to me for years.

1) Money
2) Girls
3) GF/wife
4) Learning (martial arts, language, etc)
5) Manga/video game nerd or Japanophile

You could make more, but while I was in Japan I always made sure I was doing at least two of these to "excuse" myself for being in Japan neglecting my future. It was hard to mix Money with Girls because they both take time. GF and Learning Japanese went well together. I don't think I ever did all four (I was never into #5) hardcore at once, but I did three. Oddly, having a GF and getting new Girls goes together well too.

So, in year five I had everything I'd ever wanted, but didn't want it any more. I already had my current GF by then, but I'd read The Game and felt like clubbing a lot again. Maybe I was just subconsciously trying to justify still being in Japan? My urge to go to clubs only lasted a couple months.

At the beginning of my final year I saw a lot of changes. These changes are why I'm not in Japan now. Japan Lair started. Finally, a bunch of guys just like me. What I was doing wasn't bad. I felt better as seeing a bunch of guys also doing what I've been doing for years kind of justified how I'd spent my time, made me felt like my lifestyle was okay, and allowed me to move on. I met Amanojack and Thinker around that time too. A girl who had been staying with me for a month moved out and I was totally relieved. My GF who'd gone semi-silent for two months came back and we're still together today. Had it been two years earlier I wouldn't have understood relationships as much and would have lost her.

But, the main big change was my introduction to something different: I read a book. Then another. And another. After one year I'd read 90 books on mind state, self-happiness, mental preparation, human interaction, and business. I immediately stopped studying Japanese. So many smart guys' ideas to read! That was the kick in the pants I needed. After reading for a few months I knew I'd leave Japan in 2008. I planned on February but being late doesn't matter as long as you do it.

I left four beautiful GFs, but that's about two too many for me. I'm keeping the two blonds and letting the other two fizzle out. And so far home is good. This was supposed to be about me being in America. I even had to change the title from "Living in America" because I got off on a tangent about me staying in Japan. Ah well. I'll make another post about the US sometime. I don't know how long I'll be here, but I think I need some sort extended vacation from my what became a permanent vacation in Japan.

Sex on the Beach...What Type of Girl?

Well, I've got a new way of hunting girls. Not that this will overtake my usual way, but I have something that seems too be working pretty well. I think I might be able to have sex on the beach within an hour or two of meeting the girl and be successful 66% of the time!

There are a lot of factors and I won't put them here, because I've only actually done it three times so far, and although I have noticed similarities with these three, with only three times sex on the beach experience, I'd be spouting off pure theory and KJing. So, we'll ignore the time of day, location, how to talk to the girls, how to get rid of the gyaru-o cockblockers, who and what to take with you, etc. I hope to try this one more time within the next week. If it works another few times without too much failure, I'll give full details.

For the record, I'm 3/5 having sex on the beach. The two I failed on were simple failures. The first failed because it was too sunny and too crowded. I don't think anyone would have sex will all those people around. The next time was at a beach far from home and it was too late. I also didn't talk to the girl like I wanted to and my friends and I weren't in the right position. I didn't really like her, so I don't think I was at my best. The successful three had these things constant. Anyway, here I'm going to discuss the kind of girl who will have sex with you on the beach.

The girl below did have sex on the beach

An Australian friend, nicknamed No.1, messaged me on MSN. The conversation got me thinking about the type of Japanese girls you can bang on the beach (misspells edited):

No.1: hey playa
NB: hey!
No.1: still laying it down on the hOs in J-ville?
NB: haha, I think I might have a new skill!
No.1: what is your skill, man?
NB: I can spot which girls on the beach want to be banged!!
No.1: haha. man, I thought you had that skill from 3 years ago
NB: and bang them right there!
No.1: on the beach??!
NB: ya!
No.1: ...that's not a skill man...your GOD! tell me more!
[NB sends C:\My Documents\My Pictures\Beach\Beach body.jpg]
NB: haha, did it 2x last year too
No.1: ok...so...from the start....you're walking along
No.1: you see some want-to-be-banged girl
NB: uh-huh
No.1: and what...say hi talk to her and stick your in when people are around?
No.1: (regarding the body picture also viewable above) a little mochi mochi but nice. I like the gym types myself
NB: I guess it doesn't really matter what they look like if you bang them on the beach. I don't know, I liked her!
No.1: so what...you bang them in front of their friends and stuff?
NB: hold on a sec, eating
No.1: haha man...you still love the brainless looking ganguros!!! I thought they were extinct!

So, for sex on the beach, your target won't be a tan blond gyaru or any girl rated 8 or above on the NuBreed Rating Scale.*1 (Most tan blonds gyaru with full-on make up and thin bodies will get an 8 if their face is at least average. Why? Because they are the most desirable by most Japanese men and get hit on the most.) From what I've experienced, these girls aren't the easiest targets.

I'm also theorizing that the older, or the more B-class girls won't be the easiest of targets. I'm not talking about the ugly or the English milkers who are going to be simple for gaijin, I'm talking about basically average girls who rate between 4 and 6, maybe even 7, who fit in the B-class, and are a certain type of college girl or OL.

The girls I've found that this works on would be the in-between girls, girls who are semi-A-class, and I think that's so because their looks reflect their personality. If you're totally a tan and blond gyaru, you likely have the same personality of total tan blond gyarus, and if you're a B-class chick you have that B-class personality. And if you're in the middle, you have a middl-er personality. (In Japan stereotypes are more correct than anywhere else.)

(A middle girl could go either way if she's in either a B-class girl group, or a total A-class girl group [there are other A-class besides tan blonds, of course]. But, if these "middle" girls' friends are also middle, they are all pretty much the middle type.)

My friend Thinker, the world's best beach wingman, was able to describe this "middle" far better than I can: "the girls that are trying to be gyaru, but are a little too countryside for it." What he means is that the girls can't be the non-adventurous type; they have to want to try to be like the A-class girls in the in-groups. It seems to make sense.

Therefore, the girls rated around 7 on my scale would be good for this. Or else the 6s who may be younger (and are thus more desirable by Japanese men). We need the adventurous personality here. Since looks can predict personality, it fits.

The regular B-class 4s, 5s, and 6s would be a no-go. Ugly girls, older girls, girls with jobs, milkers, and other girls who I usually rate under 6, on average are most likely to give LMR, even if they are the easiest to get to hang out with you.

The 8s rarely give me LMR (maybe they've have sex so much that they're LMRed out?). However the 8s would be no good for beach sex either because the hot 8s and up are hit on so much that they don't want to hang out with a gaijin, they want the most desirable Japanese guys. (That doesn't explain one of my beach successes, because she's at least 8 no matter how you dice it, but still.)

There are exceptions, of course. The first two "targets" I talked to the other day were kind of the serious type. They talked to me a for a few minutes, but I couldn't move them to another place. They just wanted to sit at the beach house tables and be bitchy. They were the type who have jobs and are likely very popular with the guys at work, so they think they are big sh*t even on the beach, although they are only 7s (which is hot, sure, but certainly not an 8).

So, although these bitchy 7s don't fit with the hottest of girls, they think they do, so they have the same bitchy I'm-the-sh*t type personality usually reserved for the teenage 8s. They are not comparable to the 8s, though, because the coolest guys don't nampa them, but they lie to themselves saying they don't want these guys to hit on them anyway. So, they turn down average guys, they turn down gaijin, and they actually will talk to some of the coolest guys on the beach, however, unfortunately for them, these guys don't like them. So, they go home and the bitchy cycle continues.

That's all I have for now about the "types" of girl. It's all based on the rating scale, which rates girls by looks as well as fashion type which is a direct relation to her popularity amongst Japanese men. The scale is an indispensable tool. And my final conclusion: milkers yes; 4s and 5s you've spent the whole day with them yes; 6s no, 7s yes, 8s no.

*1 The NuBreed Objective Rating Scale rates a girl by fashion and type, not only looks. It basically rates a girl higher depending on how much she would get hit on in comparison to other girls. 8s are what many guys give HB10 or HB12. 9s are rare, even on the beach. If you're seeing more than a few 9s a month, you're not using the scale correctly...or else you're on the beach daily :)

UPDATE (8/10): I'm now 4/6 on getting some sort of action on the beach. A few days ago I got her shirt off, fingered her, and got a nice hand job! ;)

So I Bought a Girl a Drink

This is a report I wrote about six months ago. I was at the club with a Japanese friend and had an interesting night, so I wrote it down. I also posted it online as a "field report." Pretty good story! Here it is, mostly unedited:

Night at the Club

So I was at the club last week and Girl #1 who I was trying to take home knew everyone in the club and was going to another bar afterwards so wasn't willing to leave with me. We danced together and made out but then I let her go. She was really into me though because she kept coming to find me and didn't leave when her friends came to talk to her.

I got Girl #2 and talked to her for like a minute and she was like, "I'm thirsty." I was like, "Wonderful, Thirsty, go buy yourself an F-ing drink" and she was pouting but I kind of practiced changing the subject talking to girls and like a dog when you hide the treat behind your back she soon forgets what she was thinking about. After like 5-10 minutes, though, unlike a dog, she remembered she was thirsty and started asking for a drink again. I was no way going to buy her a drink, but then I was like, 'wait a minute, I found a stack of drink tickets that expire in 3 hours, might as well be a nice guy and get her something.' As soon as I said okay she latched on to me and was hugging me and holding my hand. After getting the drink we went to dance and she was keen to make out. Was it the fact I bought her the drink that made her like me, or the fact that she had a strong drink in her system....hmmmm

Anyway, I got caught by Girl #1 with Girl #2. Neither were happy. Not like I really cared, so I was like what the hell, I introduced them and changed the subject of the conversation. They talked, then we had another drink. The girls loved each other and I was like, out of the picture. Then Girl #1's friend came. We'll call her Girl #3. She was hotter and drunker than the other two. Girl #1 kissed her. I kissed #2. #1 kissed #2. I kissed #1. #3 kissed #2. Then I got to kiss #3. She was beautiful!! During this we had a couple shots each (all free as I just threw the tickets on the table) and they were talking about having a foursome. I was like OMG! Now, the kissing was nothing special, for real, no tactics, nothing. I mean like, if your grandpa would have been standing there they would have kissed him too. I did make sure no one else was in our corner but us 4, but then again who wouldn't do that! Of course I wanted all three to myself! Might as well get my fun now because...

Then Girl #3 (hot one I didn't know) was dragged off by one of the two orbiters who'd been around her all night. #1 went to be a lesbian or something with #2. I was alone! So, I took home girl #4 after knowing her for like 10 minutes. She was cute too, but had jeans and a T-shirt. I got home and found out she had a BF and she didn't want anything to do with having sex. 'Come all the way here after the club and no sex???' Okay, fine. I took her to the station. She mailed the next day saying she's going to study abroad next week and can't see me because of her BF. One less bitch I gotta worry about.

Then the mails with #1 and #2 continued. #2 didn't remember me or how she hit it off with #1. So I turned my focus to #1 who did remember everything. She really wanted #2's number and I wanted #3's number. I told her that I asked #2 if it was okay to give #1 the number to buy time to ask her to give me #3's number. I can't just give it to her because that's all the leverage I have to get #3! I guess I could go back to the club and find her, and have an IN because I know #1 and made friends with some of her guy friends, but we'll see. You see, #1 was pretty hot, #2 was decent, #3 wasn't dressed sexy, but she was really cute! If the girls would have been more similar in looks I would be playing bird in the hand theory, but that #3 was really good, so I'm gambling!

So, in this story there was no sex, no pickup techniques, nothing special on my part, no nothing. All I did was talk to two girls.

Buying Girls Drinks

Anyway, what I did want to discuss, is buying girls drinks. Since every girl has a probability to flake anyway, no way will I spend 700 yen just to have a chance to talk to her. Ever! But it was cool having the drink tickets to see that even though I bought her the drink, she said she doesn't remember me! It'd be like tossing 700 yen in the river just to try to see the bubbles. The pleasure of talking to her? C'mon, few girls are that hot!

And you see some of these Japanese guys, seconds upon meeting girls, what do they do? They reach into their pockets and pull out their wallet. You know what they're going for. I bet they pull out a 10,000 bill just to be manly even if they have a sufficient supply of 1000s to cover the drinks. You know they're going to be walking around uncomfortable all night with like thirteen small bills making their wallet bulge. Some are so nuts they'll argue with each other about who's going to pay for it! Japanese cultural gesture? Okay, I'll buy it. Showing you're the man because you paid for everyone and you are going to get the hottest girl? I don't think so! Lame.

Now I know that when those guys buy drinks and the girls are all happy and touching the guys it's just an act to show appreciation. I guess it's better than just taking the drink and running, eh? I don't know, I was just shocked at how quickly that girl's attitude changed from semi-interested pickupee to extremely interested horny GF type. All that for 700. I wish I could pay 700 after 10 minutes of last-minute resistance before sex instead, that'd be a better deal. I mean, it'd be a sense pride to break through all of her obstacles by yourself, sure, but when she's too tough you could just be like 'okay, fine, you win. Here, I give up, take this 700 yen and then take your clothes off please, ma'am.' That'd be a darn good rule.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I think you should never buy a girl a drink, but that if you buy a girl a drink within a few minutes of meeting her it's going to be a waste of money. A girl who lets you take her to another place, or kiss her or is your GF, a second date, an ex, a friend's friend, a guy friend, etc., sure, paying is fine. I have too much pride to pay for the privilege of talking to a hot girl.

Two More Drink Stories

I was at this bar and I wanted someone to walk to the locker near the station with me to get my bag. I don't know, I guess I was lonely and didn't want to walk alone. My friends were busy with girls and the couple other girls I hit on were busy. So, I took a girl whose friend was being hit on by my friend. Since she came with me I had no problem buying her a coffee before going back to the bar.

Then at the same bar, my friend was getting a girl's number so I moved in to occupy the lonely friend so she didn't cockblock the info exchange. Some decent-locking European girl came from behind making fun of me for picking up Japanese girls. I told her the truth about what I was doing and how the only hot girl in here that I liked had already left (there were other hot girls, but I just wanted to make her mad by showing that isn't cute). Then I proceeded to pick her up. After a while the following conversation came up.

European chick: "If you were planning to buy me a drink now would be a good time because I just ordered a Heineken and haven't paid yet."
NuBreed: (one of a million excuses)
EC: "Okay, fine" (and negative body language turning away from my cheap ass)
NB: "You know, I had this girl the other day and I bought her a drink. She wasn't very nice before that, but after I bought her a drink she was all over me! We were holding hands, making out, etc. It was great! I guess that's how it works in Japan."
EC: "I hate girls like that."
NB: "If I buy you a drink are you going to be all over me?"
EC: "No way!"
NB: "That's why I'm not buying you a drink!" HA!!!

UPDATE: banged #3 two weeks later! Report over!