2009 Update

In 2008 I finally left Japan. I feel I kind of conquered all anyone has ever conquered as far as girls are concerned. I got the pics to remember the good times, and I have the knowledge and experience to do it again anytime I want to. I'd say I can do this for the next 10 years (related post: Can We Get 20 y.o. Girls at Age 35-40?).

What didn't I accomplish that I wanted to? Well, I did want to spend a little money and go to the hostess bars and brothels and see if paying for women is as much fun as hunting, dating, and seducing. I wanted to be able to get two tan blond gyaru per month, and I wasn't able to do that. There aren't that many tan blond gyaru around to begin with, and they rarely talk to a foreigner if approached, so I don't see this as a huge failure, rather, I see it as a challenge I'd like to someday overcome, even if for a short time.

Combining topics from the last paragraph, you'd see how money to afford hostess bars where the hottest girls sometimes are would allow me to meet several of these girls per month. That's a bonus money would give me. Another bonus is that I wouldn't have to work as much, meaning I would have more time to go out and maybe more time to meet girls. During the end of my time in Japan I would rarely hunt, I'd just see girls during a commute somewhere and chat them up. Worked just as well, and even more efficient than devoting time to nampa. More time would mean I could again dedicate time specifically to hunting as well.

That isn't the main reason I moved home, I came to pursue my own financial goals, but the above is a byproduct of success, and a motivator when I regret being in the US when I could be in Japan dating hot girls. Travel and free time are actually the biggest motivators. I want to go to several countries, rent cottages in the woods, and relax with a good buddy or lady friend. Fancy cars? Big house? Big TV? Dude, I don't care about any of that stuff. A small apartment is fine for me wherever I live. Car? Not a huge deal at all. This means that I don't need to reach such a high point to mean I've fulfilled my goals. I'll still aim high, but can stop at the trees; not the stars.

I just thought I'd update some of you who don't know that I left Japan. I love Japan. I miss Japan. I mostly miss the girls and the cool friends I've made there. I still enjoy talking about girls and advising anyone who has any questions. All I've learned in my years in Japan really shouldn't go to waste. I'm sorry I only have a small blog, but what I've posted here, I feel is significant.

See you on a vacation someday, somewhere soon!

-NB

Wait 6-8 Months Before Trusting a Girl

I was talking to friend the other day, and talking about the same thing today with this American chick who got a new BF and (insert boring story here). I thought about all my past relationships with Japanese girls. When I first went to Japan I pretty much trusted anyone who seemed sincere. Then I started to realize that Japanese girls will bang you once, twice, or date you up to 3-4 months then just ditch you. This happened to me once and I was really upset, so from there I've carried a heart of stone so that no one can hurt me. I'm so bad now that when my GF of two years nearly broke up with me for something I did I simply told her, "Okay, good luck."

I've had a lot of girlfriends. Yes, they overlapped, but they were serious, and the start of the short ones was no different from the start of the long ones. I didn't go back to check exact dates, but up to around 4 months I've had girls just disappear, some with no goodbye mail or anything. Some were virgins, some were older, some were hot, some were average. One thing holds true: the older, the more educated, the more "non-ADD" (as my friend would say) a girl is, the more likely she is to send you an explaination/goodbye mail. The younger, the more A-class a girl is, the less likely you are to get an explanation. The closer you are--you've met the parents, for example--the more likely you are to get a mail even if she's totally ADD hot blond hostess A-class 19 year old.

And then there are those ten or so relationships I had that lasted 6 months or more. Would you believe I still talk to all of them today? And, the eventual breakup was something I could have prevented, had I not wanted to breakup, which I did. I could have probably married most of these girls, had I not been evil and replace them with better ones.

So, I guess this is a message to guys who fall in love with a Japanese girl: don't trust her until you've been with her at least 6 months. If you don't change anything in that time, she'll probably stay with you at least a year. If a girl goes through some change--as they often do--it's likely you'll see one of those changes within 6 months and if she stays with you that long she'll stay with you longer. If it hasn't been 6 months, don't give her your heart!

* * *

That's about all I have to say here, so since you're paying for this (you are paying me, right?), I'll tell a little story. This story doesn't include any girls who just stopped mailing me after a couple months, but Lord knows I have handfuls of those stories to tell too.

It was October and I picked up my average of a few girls a week or so, something like that. Here are the girls in the story:

• a) 19 year old tan blond gyaru virgin. Very hot. Met her at the convenience store.
• b) 23 year old extremely tiny, bitchy, smart, and a lot of fun. Met her in 100 shop.
• c) 28 year old hostess. Met her at hostess bar.

It just so happened that I set up the first dates with all three of these girls in a 2 day period. So, I met a) for drinks, banged her, sent her home then headed over to c)'s house when she finished work. The next day I dated b) and banged her too. I don't remember the order but it was something like that.

• a) She stayed with me dating me about once a week. She said she wouldn't have sex with someone she didn't like so we were together a year after that and now we're still in contact
• b) She had a BF when I nailed her and she broke up with him the next day. She was looking to get rid of him but had no alternatives. We had loads of fun together. I really liked this girl. But, she just decided to send me a mail 4 months later saying she wanted to get back with the old BF. That lasted a while, then she dumped him, then she met and banged me every three months or so, now she has a new BF.
• c) She realized our relationship of 3 months was going no where since we only met at 2 am and did pretty much nothing but video games, sex, and movies. You can't do much at 2 am but that was her excuse. She'll always reply if I mail. She has some customer BFs now. She says she'll see me if I have time. Maybe I'll see her next time I'm in Japan.

So, these girls are not the "disappear" type. They mailed even after we "broke up." The time period was the same, and two ended within four months, one stayed a year. When I left Japan I had four GFs. Three I had just met in the couple months before I left. Results: one stopped mailing a few weeks after I came to the US, one who I was really serious with answered my calls for two more months then started ignoring me, one broke up in person as I returned to Japan, one stayed with me.

In short, you can't really tell, so wait your 6 months then you'll know for sure!

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UPDATE: I wrote the following to a friend who'd recently got a girlfriend, and the topic is so similar that I thought I'd post it here:

There's nothing wrong with having a single GF and not cheating on her. That's what most guys do. One of the things PUAs in Japan have in common though, is that we (collectively) don't have GFs because we shag many girls. You always told me that you don't want a GF though; whereas most guys say they do. You changed, which is okay. Some guys change in the opposite direction when they find the PU community. This is okay too. I've usually had a GF plus other girls. But one GF kept me from cheating for a time. I even told all other girls I had a GF, so when that one girl dumped me I had no one. That'll never happen to me again though.

And that's why I'm writing this. I don't have too much of an opinion about morals of banging several girls or cheating on someone (because I myself don't feel it's bad). Sure, I might call guys with a GF gay, but that means nothing as most guys are one-girl guys. But, I just don't want anything to happen to you--or any guy on here--that makes you feel sad, hurt, or that you've wasted your time. I won't waste a girl's time either: if I date her a year and don't want to marry her I'll let her know that. If I don't want a LTR I'll tell her early-on. I hate seeing people do shit that hurts others. Sooo, I just want to say that you shouldn't dedicate yourself 100% to her just yet. So, maybe you don't want to cheat, which is fine, but don't send an email to all your regulars saying, "I got a GF." That'd be like burning your bridges. I know not all girls are like my ex-GF who dumped me, but I know that I've had it happen a good 10 times, even after 1-2 months. Your girl is probably more mature about suddenly flaking and is probably serious enough to only get into a relationship that she wants to be in. She likes you because you're a great guy and she's had time to see and evaluate that; she's not just with you for a quick fling.

Anyway, I'm happy for you and if you're happy I'm even happier. Most of what I was trying to say is in my Wait 6 Months Post, which I know you read, which basically says that although you may have dragged and dropped your copy of The Game into the Recycle Bin, you shouldn't empty the bin just yet.

Limited Mail Theory (incl response time & mail grouping)

Before

During my six years in Japan, I spent a lot of time sending cell phone mail (texts) to girls. I averaged 50 per day. Luckily I had the cell phone plan keeping my cell phone bill under $100, but it was occasionally tiring. In 2003 my phone had what I call "true BCC", by that I mean BCC like on your Hotmail: the person who is BCCed doesn't know it. Well, in 2004 Japanese cell phones lost this function and now if you BCC anyone it says "BCC" in the subject line. The Japanese really screwed up the meaning of Blind Carbon Copy, huh?

Today

Now I've matured, my Japanese is better, and I've learned a lot more about girls since 2003. If we were to compare 2004 and 2007, I think I picked up more girls in 2004, but out of each 10 I picked up, as many as four might not write back at all. I might only date 1-2 of those 10. In 2007, though, I would get replies from about 90%. That has nothing to do with the topic at hand here, but that just shows that I was better at picking them up.

And I am now better at mailing them too. I used to mail a girl as often as she'd reply, and believe it worked and I got laid several times a month, but, if I had put in the same amount of hunting time I did then, knowing what I know now about mailing, I would have been more successful. In short, mailing less is better. Or, you get more with less!

The Theory

You only get a certain number of mails with each girl before she ignores you, so you have to stretch those mails out over time, and get her to meet you before your mailing time runs out.

Now, the hotter the girl is the less chance she has to like you. This rating of hotness, as used by me, as explained in other posts, doesn't vary per rater, rather, it's objective and is based on how popular a girl is amongst men in general. So, the hotter she is the more guys she has and the less keen she'll be on you. And, the less keen on you the girl is, the fewer mails you have with her. It's not a direct relation, but can most of the time you can say, "the hotter she is the less time you have." On the opposite end, ugly girls might mail you forever.*

Phone Book Groups

Back to 2003. I would get a girl who would be relatively hot, say a 7 or 8, and I'd use up all of my mails to her within the first day or two, then she'd flake. When I first got girls I used to keep them in Group 0 in my phone, before putting them into another group of prospects. Back then, I would keep them in Group 0 for quite a while because they would flake so quickly. Why? For that answer, read my theory.

These days, I still have Group 0. But now, I usually only wait to get two mails from her before I move her to her corresponding Prospects group (I categorize prospects based on their looks or else how much I desire them, but that isn't important here). After she goes to a Prospects group, I will leave here there for however long it takes me to feel like emailing her. I can move them quicker now because I'm not going to blow it with any by wasting my mailing limit too quickly.

How Often Should I Email Girls?

Here we're getting into something that's also not the focus of this post, but I'll add a bit. Do you mirror her response times? Do you wait to reply to her longer than she waits to reply to you? I have the answers to all of these questions, and now I know the exact time when to reply to a girl for the maximum response ratio, but it's very hard to explain. I could explain it in a few minutes in spoken words, because I'd be able to answer questions regarding all situations, but here, I can only explain the basics.

The Five Steps of When to Reply

First of all, you must know that Japanese girls do not think about this. They reply when they can. You're after them, and if they're hot, they have a lot of guys after them. Sometimes, if the reply is short and unthoughtful, they are just replying because they feel they have to. Don't over analyze this. Girls don't and it will only get you fewer responses.

Second, you have to be patient. You can't predict what she's doing at a certain time, and if you mail her at that time, you might not get a reply. So, you can't sit there for 24 hours wondering when she's going to reply. Maybe she's busy? Maybe she forgot? Maybe she doesn't care about you? Do you want to know the truth about which one it is? I don't, because it don't care! Read the theory. She's seen your mail. She knows you mailed. If you mail again too soon you're needy and bored. You don't want that. So, you mail your girlfriend, play tennis, watch a movie, and basically, continue your life as if she weren't a part of it. When you do that, she'll mail. If she doesn't, you don't care because she isn't a part of your life anyway, right? And, in a few days without a reply, simply shoot her another mail. And you should never refer to the last mail you sent!

Third, you should use common sense. Don't go overboard trying to guess what she's doing, but if you know she has to work at 9 am then sending her a mail at 7:30 when she's doing her makeup isn't a good time. Or don't mail when she's sleeping as she won't be able to reply immediately. *2 Are you going to try to time the mail to arrive when she's bored riding the train? I guess that would be good, but still, don't go out of your way trying to send at the perfect time.

Forth in our list: you have to be natural. By this I mean that you should occasionally reply within minutes to her mail, and if she replies, and you have time to, do it again! You'd probably not want to shoot off ten mails in a row, but 4-5 in a row once or twice shouldn't hurt anything. And be natural also means that you send of something you write now. I've made templates in the past and saved them, but I've found that for each girl you have to modify the template and it ends up taking longer and being less natural than if you just typed it up right there. Also, I've found that anything witty I've ever done or said in the past is something I can do naturally in the future. It's not as if I have to write it down and lose my clever mailing ability or whatever. It's will naturally come to you when you need it.

Finally, don't care. If you care that means that this girl really means something to you. Of course she does or you wouldn't be mailing her; but you have to have other things going on so that your happiness doesn't rest on getting a reply from this girl. That's why I always had two girlfriends along with some other sex friends. If my GF, the one I really like who I want to write me back, doesn't reply, then I can mail some other girls and get what I need from them. I'm backing up this post as I write it now. You should backup anything that's important to you, even girls. *3

Reply Folder

This is revolutionary. Better yet, evolutionary. My phone has evolved over the years, and so have the folders I sort mails into. I used to have folders for this and folders for that, but now, I have very few. I'll list what you need here. If you make these folders you've surpassed a lot of trouble and have reached the point where I am today, a place that took me years to get to. All this work, and I end up with just a few simple folders:

• Guys. My girl and guy friends' mails and all "other" mails go in this folder
• Girls. Mails from girls who I've had sex with or am trying to have sex with
• GF #1. Folder for GF #1. You can't mix her with other girls as you might send her a mail you meant to send to some other girl who means nothing to you. A GF is not related to this lifestyle, so keep her separate. Luckily, you can use this lifestyle to get the best GF, though, and to keep from bothering her so much!
  
• GF#2. If applicable. I wouldn't get over 2-3 GFs. It's tough. Make the other ones "sex friends" who aren't worrying about your whereabouts who probably suspect you have other girls and know you're not 100% theirs (them knowing that might make them like you more and try to change you, by the way, but that's a topic for elsewhere).
  
• Info. This is a folder I found necessary. When you get a mail with directions or someone's phone number who you will need once then delete, chuck the mail here, and lock it so it doesn't auto-delete. Mine only has a few mails in it (new phone), but one is how to find the love hotel in a certain area, an area I've never been to, but plan to go sometime soon.
• Reply. This is what I would say is evolutionary. This eliminates the need to think about when you reply to girls! You just go through this folder when you have time to mail, then you reply if you think it's a common sense time to do so. If not, be patient and mail later! Remember, waiting a long time to reply is usually not a bad thing!

* * *

Footnotes

* Theory doesn't hold for young, inexperienced girls who will mail you a dozen times a day for weeks and still never meet you. However, "inexperienced" can be read as "not popular" and therefore "not cute," right? If she were cute she'd have guys lining up to date her. If YOU think she's cute, fine, that's the perfect situation, but if she doesn't have guys lining up to date her then she's not cute, and not rated any higher than 6 or so.

*2 I always mail girls when they're sleeping. Why? Because I don't care, and not caring overtakes all other rules. I have time to mail them when they're sleeping, so that's when I do it. By my mailing schedule they assume that I'm busy all other times, so, they just mail me when they have a chance to.

*3 If you're a guy with a single girlfriend and don't want to cheat on her with other girls, don't get me wrong, I don't see anything wrong with that at all. That will be me someday too. In fact, I wish it were me now. It'd be so much easier! This type of guy probably isn't reading this now, but if you are, I mean no offense. For the record, it'd take me 8-12 months to trust a Japanese girl to not just suddenly stop mailing you. All girls I've been with that long I am still friends with today. I've had several relationships halt suddenly after 4 months and the girls just disappeared.