Strike Like a Snake!

This entry is how the desperation of wanting a girlfriend hurts you.  This is why nice guys looking for love never find it.  This is why "bad boys" and "mystery men" get the girls.  This is why the more girls you have the more you can get (because girls go for guys who don't pay much attention to them). 

Sometimes we forget and don't always follow the rules.  Recently, since I want a GF, I took a girl on a couple dates to the movies or restaurants.  I deviated from the old goal of banging her ASAP.  And I disobeyed the rule that says that chances are high I'll never see her again, so I might as well bang her on that first date.  But ignoring rules leads to failure.  Why do men find what works and try to change it?  Apparently women are not like this by nature.  I'm a man, so I will often fail.  Why is it easier to bang a girl on a three-day vacation?  Because you're forced to be quick!

She'll never see you again - I don't know if she will or not.  In my experience, only about a third do.  Since they only date me once, "Why not try to bang them?" a 21 year old NuBreed once decided.  A bit of lost wisdom if you apply it to the girl above.

Girls like mystery men - I know I'm not Mr. Attractive (which is 90% percent personality for men), so I have to strike why the kettle is hot.  I have to be the snake.  A slick, swift, snake who strikes at all opportunities.  If I don't, she sees me for what I really am: a nice, normal, intelligent, responsible guy--the opposite of attractive; and girls don't like those guys because...

Girls like bad boys - Or assholes.  Or losers.  Or troublemakers.  Why?  It's human nature to solve problems (see video games).  Solving problems is joyous.  If that loser BF gets a job while she's with him she counts it as a slice of personal success.  William Butler Yeats discovered: "Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that but simply growth, We are happy when we are growing."  Him growing equals her growing and thus her happiness.  Second, the bad boy gets the girl because being with him angers daddy or so many other normal social principles.  This makes her unique and thus cool.  Third, bad boys don't care about the slim chance that trying to bang her on the first date will piss her off.  And since the piss-off chances are slim, usually, they'll succeed. 

So, disclosing as little about me as possible before entering a sex location leaves me a Mystery Man.   Hiding my responsible nature and going for sex soon I can--temporarily, falsely, and deceivingly--present myself as a Bad Boy.  And since a "bad" thing a bad boy does is to strike like a snake, I am, in her eyes, through remaining a mystery man, the ultimate bad boy. 

Why will she never see me again?  Because I show that I want to see her again.  Telling a girl you like her or even want to see her again is a great way to get rid of her.  The fact that I even attempt to contact her proves that I've deceived her.  My actions toward quick sex show I'm a bad boy; contacting her again shows I'm not.  I'm no longer a mystery man, I'm just some sad sap who wants a GF.  And now that she knows this, she's done with me.  If you just walk her to the station after and don't suggest meeting again, you remain a bad boy and she will remember you as a bad boy who tricked her into sex by pretending you wanted a GF.  If you tell her you want to see her again she simply ignores you because she was really up for sex only all along.  You can't always win a GF, but you can often get sex. 

Strike like a snake!

American Women Have Gotten Fat, Ugly, and Mean

American Women Have Gotten Fat, Ugly, and Mean

It's no secret that the looks of American women have taken a turn for the worse over the past few decades.  Of course the scarlet from a movie in any era would be beautiful, but in the 70s, even the average women would, by today's standards, be better--far better!--than average.  Good examples can also be found on Family Feud or other game show from the 70s and 80s.  More on that to follow after a short, relevant book review.

Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land (1961)

One of the main characters, Ben, is in love with Jill, a beautiful nurse assumedly in her mid-20s.  Jill's hobby was men and we're reassured throughout the story that she's a very attractive young woman.  Shortly after meeting them, we're introduced to Miriam, Anne, and Dorcas.  All as beautiful as Jill.  However, Heinlein says the three women "ranged, respectively, from pleasantly plump to deliciously slender.  Their ages spread over fifteen years but it was hard to tell off hand which was the eldest" (93).  I hardly feel that Heinlein was wishing (as we are today) that more women were thin and beautiful and stayed that way into their 40s.  Rather, and this is a side theme to the novel, I think he's showing (wishing?) that if they take care of themselves older women can be as beautiful as younger ones.  And I'm sure he saw the phenomenon in his day more than we do in 2013.  I also think "pleasantly plump" would, in the 1960s, mean a mere 140 lbs.  Nonetheless, the book makes it clear that all three of these women were beautiful and age was not a deterrent to beauty.

Heinlein mocks religion yet sets up a "church" which is pretty much just a hotel where everyone is free to do as they please, relax, go around nude, and have sex with who they please.  When Ben spends time here it's shocking that we see nude 40 year old women who are beautiful.  We're introduced to a housewife who used to be overweight and unhappy.  Now that she's learned to live carefree and set her soul and mind free, her body followed and became more youthful.  Upon meeting her she's naked and beautiful.  Yet reading it I didn't imagine a skinny 21 year old model or the tattoed porn stars you find today.  Rather, I thought of a naturally beautiful woman who may not be skinny, but is, say, a mature-yet-tempting, curvacious 135 lbs.

Women in the 1970s

To avoid explaining further, let's use the words the world's top dating site, Plenty of Fish, lets woman choose to describe themselves.  But let's define what I deduce these would have meant in 1970 for a woman who was 5'5":

Average - 120 lbs who today would be a catch
Curvy - same specs but add 5-10 lbs
A Few Extra Pounds - 150 lbs max
Fat - over 150 lbs
Athletic - when a woman actually trained
Thin - 100 lbs

Women Today

 

1. Weight - today the definitions hold in most people's minds only if we add 25% in body weight! 
    
2. Age - this one is big!  Even assuming we've added 25% more weight, kind of automatically assume you're talking about a girl under 25.  Back then, you could use it to describe a 35 year old!
    
3. Unhealthy Lifestyle - Notice how the housewife's mindset helped her look better.  Think of mindsets back then and think of all the negativity today.  Also think of tanning, tattoos, MSG, fast food, frappes, fried-foods, beer, etc.  Just more reasons that women today are on average less beautiful.

 Also, in 1970, I'd guess the female population distribution for ages 20-35 was more or less like this:

Average - 50%
Curvy - 10%
A Few Extra Pounds - 10%
Fat - 5%
Athletic - 5%
Thin - 20%

And today, based not on what girls call themselves but on the 1970 definitions:

Average - 5%
Curvy - 5%
A Few Extra Pounds - 20%
Fat - 50%
Athletic - 10% (an increase because if you don't train, you're fat!)
Thin - 10%

And even that's being generous.  Everyone not only got fat, but did so at a younger age; and had a scowl on their face while doing it!

Today you might see an "older" woman who looks great.  Kate Beckensale, Jennifer Anniston, or Anna Torv would look great in any decade, but the funny thing is that they are in the "thin" category.  The average, maybe even a bit curvy, 140 lbs, 35 year old attractive housewife no longer exists!

Why Do Girls Only Date Guys Once? - Question Answered!

Why do so many cute girls go on one-time dates and never talk to the guys again?  Not all cute girls are like this, but since we can't always be lucky to find too many of these, we need to learn about why popular girls act the way they do.   In this article I attempt to explain why the girl who you had a fantastic date with yesterday will never talk to you again.  -NB

I truly believe that the popularity (i.e. sexual attractiveness) of a girl is the single-most determinant of her actions in relationships with men. Living in both large and small cities in two largely different countries has really opened my eyes to things in both places more than I would have ever noticed had I only lived in one. I never spoke English proper-ly until learning grammar rules of Japanese, for example. Regarding the girls, instead of determining why she's not going on second date, I think we should first examine why she's even going out with him in the first place.

Before that, however, we must note that if a girl is cute she almost assuredly has a placeholder BF.  I say placeholder because more times than not the girl is not totally happy with the placeholder, and although she treats him like a BF, the placeholder is subject to being cast out at the appearance of an upgrade.  Girls with placeholder BFs will subconsciously keep orbiters around to entertain them and maintain that sense of self-worth when their placeholders are away. Of course orbiters want sex and/or a relationship, but the girl will limit what the orbiter gets because she needs him as backup to the current placeholder. And since guys are generally schmucks and okay with this arrangement, the girls never change, are always put on a pedestal, and will forever have guys to take them out and entertain them. These girls will, however, usually become better people when they feel their looks have started to fade. I think that when many feel it coming, they jump into marriage with whatever placeholder they happen to be dating at the time. 

(Note the use of the term "boyfriend" should be reduced in our vocabularies and replaced by "placeholder."  If a girl has a true BF, she will not be talking to another suitor in the first place and thus is not a part of this discussion.  Also outside of this discussion, obviously, are popular girls who have no BF and no placeholder and don't act like this.)

I knew a lot of this in Japan, but until coming to the States I didn't understand why a girl always feels like she needs the world to know he has a BF (yes, really he's just a placeholder).  Well, having a BF is the main contributor to her sense of pride and self-worth. It's no myth that cute girls don't have the personality or brains of ugly or average girls who haven't been chased by men their whole lives. So, in their small, twisted minds, they need to know that they're beautiful and that they're desired by men.  Because if they didn't have that to hold onto, they'd have nothing. And since these girls are very conscious of what others think about them, they need to keep the placeholder and are always open to an upgrade, even if they themselves aren't aware of it.


There many, many reasons, a girl would want to date any new guy: sex, fun, entertainment, boredom, free meal, notch on belt, pride, etc. I don't know how women have convinced society that men are the ones who get sex and then never see the women again, but I have never experienced this to be true neither with myself or anyone I know. Yes, there are exceptions but it's about 20/80. And Mr. Pimp is obviously doing it as a lifestyle and for fun because he likes sex. Women on the other hand--all women--seem to do this subconsciously. It's like a built-in mechanism to get as much from as many men as they can. Some actually want the sex. Some want to go out and have fun and be entertained because they're bored. Some want to tell their friends some guy with a Porsche took her to a fancy restaurant and she didn't answer when he called because she's too down-to-earth to be wooed by a rich man. It could be any number of reasons why they'll go out with a guy, but none of these reasons include that he's a viable suitor for a relationship--unless of course if he ends up being an upgrade to her placeholder. 

The most important reason, however--the one I've discovered most recently--is:

 Girls go on one-time dates with strangers to

 prove to themselves that they're liked!

They're insecure and want to know they're still beautiful. You see, Mr. Video Game guy might be fat at home playing a game, but he's secure because A) he has a degree in computer programming, B) he's super smart, C) he has a good job, D) he's going to Europe next year with his buddies. Subtract the fact that men want to have sex with her, what does the cute girl have going in her life? Absolutely nothing! And I really think that this is where huge problems lie for many men.

I knew there had to be a correlation between the differences I saw living in Japan vs the States, but I attributed the country's culture to those differences. Boy, was I wrong! It wasn't the country, it was the fact that Osaka is huge and where I am now is relatively small. Mix that together with the fact that desirable girls want nothing more than to be desired and it all fits into place. You see, girls in the big city don't need to you buy them dinner because they get hit on 20 guys a day who beg to buy them dinner. And they don't have to worry about cheating on placeholders because there are so many people sleeping with each other that no one has time to keep track of anyone else. Gossip reaches a much smaller percentage of the population. A hip, metro-cultural sexual relationship haven the big cities are!

Small cities, on the other hand, have a lack of men the average hot girl would even consider going out with, even if it is just for a free meal. First, in the instance where the guy is worthy, there'd always be the chance of seeing someone she knows. And she really has to watch that because she doesn't want word of it to get back to her placeholder.  Second, she can't have sex as freely because if the guy happens to tell 10 people, there's that much more chance someone will find out and she'll be called a slut, which is a biologically embedded fear of most girls. In a big city, however, there are so many people that she'll go unnoticed. (The next two reasons might contradict but in any situation it's a fact that wil contribute to society's views.) Third, there are fewer guys in the small city. Fewer guys means she has so many fewer to choose from. She can't just go sleeping with Mr. Friday Night because he doesn't exist. She needs to hold on to the placeholder she's got and not cheat because there are so few replacements. Finally, there are fewer girls in the small city. So, since no guys want to hit on the fatties, the girls in small cities are put even higher on a pedestal because percentage-wise there are so few of her. She can afford to act spoiled.  She's a superstar!

As an addendum, here are couple thoughts that might help out in situations that don't fit with the logic/theories above.  First, note the parenthesized paragraph above stating that some girls have true BFs and will not be dating you in the first place.  Also there are cute girls secure enough with themselves that that need neither BF nor placeholder.  There are true sluts who enjoy the lifestyle of freedom.  There are girls who are not really thinking about men but go on a date once a year, don't feel a spark, then go back to their lives.  None of these girls are included in this discussion and I haven't attempted to solve any problems associated with them.

Also, "cute" can often be read as "popular."  Thus, if a fat girl is giving you the problems mentioned in this essay, you might note that since you're interested she most likely has other suitors as well.  Finally, there's intimidation.  You're too rich for her and make her feel insignificant.  You're too handsome and muscular and you make her seem ugly by comparison.  Either that or she thinks you'll cheat or that you deserve better.  Maybe you turn her on too much.  You could talk in a way that makes her feel insecure. 

Then there's the simple fact that you might mess up something on the date, but this is rarely the case.  In most instances the girl has gotten to know a bit about you before the one and only date.  And she knew about your looks on day one.  Could it be like people say, she just wasn't into you?  If she's out with another guy within a week and you believe what someone with such a defeatist attitude says then you're selling yourself short.  Granted, most girls subconsciously crave the challenge of dating idiots so they can change them for the better then upgrade to an even bigger loser, but if you got to know the girl at least a bit before the date and didn't screw anything up, then there was nothing you could have done to prevent her not talking to you again.  It was a great date and she elected not to come in your house.  Goodbye kiss...forever.  She elected to come in and she was very open to sex.  Next morning sex again then...goodbye forever.  The girl in either situation, however, has just been forever appropriately stereotyped and categorized in this article.  And the world now knows.